“LOVE AND DETACH…STAY CLOSE…SO HARD”

A mom wrote to me, My son was living at home, staying off drugs, working a job, and exercising, but he’s using again. He left our home today. With a heavy heart, I told him I loved him. This will be our last time of letting him live with us. Now, if he wants recovery, he needs to be the change. Love and detach…stay close…..so hard. We offered him treatment, but he’s not ready. My prayer is that he stays safe. God, give me the strength to accept this.

My reflection: Loving and detaching. I struggled with this dichotomy for years. How could I love my son and detach at the same time? But in the end, it was the blending of these two that made the difference in both my life and my son’s.

Today’s Promise to consider: Dealing with addiction is counterintuitive. It took me fourteen years of my son’s heroin addiction to learn to stay close, but out of the chaos. I answered his calls and texts, but I gave him no money or resources that would enable his behavior. I realized that living in sobriety could not be imposed on him.  He had to make the decision to change his life, while I needed to accept, surrender, and pray for strength, for both of us.

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Cheryl Requena
Cheryl Requena
3 months ago

I was looking at my phone this morning this was on it. Wow I needed this so bad it was like I was reading my life story thank you and God bless

ramona setherley
ramona setherley
3 months ago

I always look forward to Thursdays to read your post, it has helped me so much over the years. Sadly my son lost his battle with addiction but I am so grateful that he knew how much I loved him. He really tried and was heading to treatment again and decided to get one last high. Thanks again

Jacqueline
Jacqueline
3 months ago

I am deep in the “detach with love phase” currently. It has been a long struggle with my daughter. She was almost 90 days clean, and this latest relapse has taken her back down the rabbit hole. I am once again the enemy. We tell her we love her and when she is ready, we will be there to help her “reset”, but I can’t go down that rabbit hole with her. All I can do is pray. Thank you!