The pandemic, the continuing isolation, and the ever-present uncertainty have been increasingly difficult for me. Anxiety mounts, and I work to stay calm. I remember well these feelings of worry and concern. When my son was in active addiction, my mind was a whirlwind of thoughts of what could be and what I would do if the worst happened. This is a triggering place for me – a reminder that I need to take refuge in my spiritual practice.  

My reflection: I know well the feelings of stress that threaten to overtake me. I need to work to counteract these emotions. Addiction thrives on chaos.  

Today’s Promise to consider: When negative emotions engulf us, we need to implement the practices that are nourishing for our souls. For me, that means staying in gratitude, exercising (even when I don’t want to), writing, walking in nature, and meditating. We all have ‘go to’ routines that bring us some semblance of peace. Today, let us prioritize self care. Let us retrain our brain to stop ruminating, if even for a few minutes. Let us breathe and find our calm.

One of my favorite stories about compassion is told by Tara Brach. She writes: I often tell the story of a person walking in the woods and coming upon a little dog. The dog seems harmless, but when they reach out to pet the dog, it growls and lunges at them. The immediate response is fear and anger, but then they notice the dog has its leg caught in a trap and compassion begins to rise up in place of anger. Once we see how our own leg is in a trap and hold our experience with self-compassion, it becomes easier to see how others might be caught, too – causing suffering, because they are suffering.

My reflection: My son had his leg in the trap of addiction for fourteen years, and it took me about that many years to understand the depths of his suffering and the effects on our family.

Today’s Promise to consider: Compassion for our addicted loved ones often doesn’t come easily. We get caught in the downward spiral of blame, hurt, and anger. Tara Brach says that acceptance and compassion are not about condoning, complacency, or resignation, but rather the courageous willingness to face reality as it is right now. Today, let us work to understand our addicted loved one’s pain so that we might find compassion for them, and for ourselves in the process.