Alessandro Rodino Dal Pozzo, the president of San Patrignano, said, The path to recovery happens when you truly and deeply accept that things have to change.
My reaction: When my son was in active addiction, I thought that I could gauge when he was ready to accept recovery, when the pain had reached critical junctures, and when he would be open to professional help. I never could.
Today’s Promise to consider: Moments of extreme suffering can lead to important epiphanies for those suffering from substance abuse. The Big Book calls the opening that follows these periods, “The Gift of Desperation.” My son’s fourteen-year heroin addiction took him to a place where he was lost and a shell of himself. He was at the crossroads of continuing drugs or dying. He later told me, This was one of the most profound moments in my recovery process.
Thank you again Libby for your commitment to this blog. Every Thursday as it comes up a feel it is written just for me- week after week! We are in the midst-once again in the cycle of relapse; waiting for our son to see the light. The incredible fear a parent has of waiting for their child to be brought to rock bottom and what the results could potentially be are painful to say the least. After many years of trying to micro manage my sons addiction/ recovery I am more fully embracing the humbling truth that I am not in charge and cannot fix this. We remain in hopeful anticipation that he will see once and for all that drugs are not the path forward or the person he is.
My precious Anne, Thank you for your support. It means the world to me. I know that feeling of dread, of waiting for the phone call, and of questioning every movement and thought. You are right that we all need to accept the humbling truth that we are not in charge and cannot fix this. Dr. MacAfee, my son’s addiction therapist, told me, “There’s only room for one in an addiction.” I join you in prayer and hope that your son will make the decision to change his life. My love to you. Stay strong.
So true Libby! Grateful for your blog.
Pat – always grateful for you and your wisdom.
Your experiences gives us Mom’s hope. My daughter went into rehab 2 days ago…but for the 12th time. It wasn’t until recently that I realized I can only lead the horse, but I can’t make it drink. So many years I’ve tried to force her sobriety, with no success. Though I wish I could magically take this burden from her, I now understand her peace can only come from within. I now know my role, which is a loving, supporting Mom.
Thank you….
Dearest Karen, Your message brings tears to my eyes. My son was in-and-out of 12 rehabs, too, until I finally realized what you just wrote — “I can only lead the horse, but I can’t make it drink.” It wasn’t until I told my son, “I love you, but you’re going to die. When I had breast cancer, I could have died, but I chose to fight. YOU need to choose to fight. Fight, son, fight.” You’re right that our children have to make the decision to change their life, and I join you in love and prayer that your daughter does just that.