A mother wrote to me: I have to let go of my resentments. I’m thinking of an old suitcase: I’ll put those poisonous thoughts, which have been festering like an old splinter, in the suitcase and bury it! That’s my plan today… I’ll bury this suitcase with the things that were said so they NEVER pop into my brain and get in the way of my good memories.
My reflection on the message above: AA talks about resentments being “fatal,” so I asked Dr. MacAfee if letting go of resentments was an act of will. He said, “Yes, in part, but letting go of resentments takes more than will. The problem is that people often try to let them go, but they do it with toxic amounts of denial. Denying them is as problematic as holding them. I would use the visualization technique only after understanding my reaction to the pain. Resentments are powerfully damaging and sometimes pitifully trivialized.”
Today’s promise to consider: I will do the work necessary to understand my resentments. I will not deny my pain, but I will strive to let go of my resentments for my good and the good of others. It’s time to let go.