Ten years ago, I wrote a blog entry with the same title…and here I am again, reminding myself that I am powerless over anyone except myself.
My personal reflection: When my son was in active addiction, I talked, ranted, threatened, and cajoled, but words never penetrated the tough exterior of addiction. My words fell on deaf ears and a stone heart. I finally learned to find comfort in talking less and praying more.
Today’s Promise to consider: The mantra, “Talk less, pray more,” is a reminder that I can’t control or change anyone. I can, however, listen more closely, respond with greater compassion and skillfulness, and continue to find strength in my Higher Power. And I will.4753
I send you love as you always do for others, Libby ~
Dearest Pamela, ….and I send my love back to you. Thank you for your compassion and support. xo
So true , so much more peaceful to talk less and pray more! I thank you Libby and all the people who shared their nuggets of helpful advice in this blog. I don’t know how many more years my son will continue in active addiction (he is going on 10 or 11 years by now), but i know that your blog Libby , will always have a helpful insight , a story that gives me hope, a story of compassion reminding me how much our addicted loved ones suffer, or a story of victory over addiction that renews my hope.
In the last month , my son struggled really bad with active addiction, trying to mute his pain with extreme drugs and self destructive behavior. As a parent , my pain is probably less destructive than my son’s . It daunt on me that my pain as a parent is unavoidable, I just need to accept and pray for healing.
Dearest Gabriela, I know that place of a mother’s pain, the constant suffering and desperation. You’re right — it’s unavoidable, and we must do everything possible to support ourselves. Al-Anon was a saving grace for me, where I found other parents who understood my journey. The words, ‘Stay Close, but out of the chaos,’ provided me a kind of road map. Please know that I’ll stay close in prayer. We’ll bombard the heavens for your son.
Throughout my son’s addiction I too, ranted, tried my best to talk to him, cajoled etc. etc. After a few years, I started to talk to the higher power, (god) and learnt to lean on my faith lots more than I had done for a long time. This has helped me get through so much, helping me to understand and be more tolerant, giving me the strength and courage I need.
My son David is now coming up to 2 years off the drugs and has a son of his own. I continue to pray for him, all my family and friends everyday!
Thank you Libby for your weekly wise words, they help us all I’m sure!
Love and big hug to you and everyone going through the pain of addiction.
Dear Angela, Your son is two years free of drugs and has a son of his own!!! This is wonderful news. God bless him and you. You’re right that our faith gives us the strength and courage we need. It’s one day at a time, and today is a day to celebrate! My love to you and your son.