A mother wrote to me: My son is a recovering alcoholic, but he doesn’t know how to live in recovery. Sure, he knows that he can’t drink or hang out at parties, but it’s tough for him. He was used to having drinks with his brothers and friends. When they were young, my husband and I had parties where there was drinking. Now I wish I had never drunk in front of my kids. We are a big football family, so I don’t have to tell you what Sundays are like around this town. Very hard for a recovering addict.
My reflection: How do addicts learn to live in abstinence? Dr. MacAfee says this is the essential question.
Today’s Promise to consider: We know a lot about addiction, but we don’t know much about how addicts learn to live in sobriety. My experience is that AA and NA gave Jeff a recipe for living that underscored accountability, faith and contribution. Simultaneously, Al-Anon provided me a community of people who helped me prioritize self care. Today, I will support those I love with compassion and understanding as they relearn how to live life. This includes me.
Well said Libby! This is a brutal disease and once I was able to accept that fact I then became “willing” to learn all that I could. I remember asking my alcohol drug counselor this question, “What do I need to do to be of most help to my family and addicted son?” His answer put me in a new direction and I committed myself to put aside my own understanding and to allow those with the knowledge and experience I didn’t have to guide me in a new direction.
You’re right, Pat, and I did the same thing. I needed to surrender to the disease and to open my arms to others who could help me. Al-Anon was my saving grace along with Dr. MacAfee. Thanks, as always, for sharing.
Great book called Love Yourself by Gena Rotas – some great tools for living life, loving yourself
Great suggestion. Thanks, Anne-Marie. I’ll check it out. xo
I just bought this! Thank you for the suggestion!