A young girl, with a crystal meth addiction, wrote to me: I am addicted again. It’s been two years since l relapsed. I am convinced everyone hates me. I constantly hear voices that tell me that they will kill me, I’m ugly, I’m disgusting or that l smell. Some days I have eight showers and other days it takes all day to have one. Most days, I don’t trust the water out of the tap. I can’t talk with my mom – I’m afraid the stress will kill her. My lifelong friends and family have nothing to do with me. I abuse my mom day and night, and I hate myself for this.
My reflection: What struck me most in reading this girl’s message was that, even in the midst of writing these rambling and tragic sentences, she is concerned about her mother. She loves her and doesn’t want to hurt her.
Today’s Promise: Our suffering loved ones often act in uncaring, selfish, manipulative, and abusive ways. While this might be true, as long as they are alive, they still exist underneath the disease. Their empathy and humanity are buried deep within as they grapple with their own demons. I will remember this as I stay close, but out of the chaos of her addiction.
I always felt my son was in there somewhere. Lately I have been feeling he is no longer there. I miss the one that used to be.
Dearest Susan, I understand. Addiction wants to suffocate everything – us, our loved ones, and all our care. I join you in prayer for your son’s health and return. My love to you.
Life is not easy. As long as we keep trying the good does surface and take over. The dark evil that tries to make us do things we wouldn’t or don’t want to do is working harder than ever. There is so much negative ideas and views on the media.
I pray, read my scriptures and EVERY POSTIVE book I can lay my hands on to bring forth love and what is my core value. Look at the life of Mother Theresa’s. What a great example of using the demons that tried to destroy her life into her helping others struggling to overcome theirs also. Helen Keller’s life is another tragic life turned into a monument for others to emulate. Everyone has good in them. We need more support systems to help those struggling with addictions and abusive lives. We CANNOT judge others by what we have not experienced and we aren’t to be the judge of someone else anyway. We are to love and support. Even drugs we are given to help us can turn us into someone we don’t want to be. I have been on a drug for my cancer and it has played mind games and given me ups and downs. We have to be aware of what even some foods can do to us also. PLEASE READ, READ AND EDUCATE YOURSELF AND LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR BODY TELLS YOU. Healthy food and positive words can change your whole life.
I can swear to that.
Dear Leona, I totally agree with you. Good does surface, in time. We need to read, educate ourselves, and listen to our bodies. I love the book, “The Body Keeps the Score,” by Bessel Van der Kolk. His work supports everything you write. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
Once when my son was locked up, he had turned himself in after evading probation for months. As usual we would talk at least every other day. After about 10 days or so he sounded more like himself. I said “there you are! I’ve missed you” … I will never forget how he said “I’ve missed me too mom” absolutely broke my heart. People have no idea of the unseen inner battles our loved ones fight, just to hold onto a piece of themselves
Dear Tina, Your words hit me hard: “I said “there you are! I’ve missed you” … I will never forget how he said “I’ve missed me too mom” absolutely broke my heart.” What a tender and honest moment. Thank you for sharing this. Your son’s words will stay with me. <3