WHY MY CHILD?

A mother wrote to me: My husband and I were always with our kids, but it seems to me that the kids who were on their own did better. Many of our neighborhood children grew up with our kids, and they are all very successful. How did mine turn out to be addicted to drugs?

My reflection: Many times, I asked myself this same question, “Why my child?” Why our family? For years, I felt shame and guilt, until I learned that self-blame was unconstructive.

Today’s Promise to consider: The Big Book of AA states that drugs are ‘similar to an allergy.’ Some people have it; some people don’t. After years of trying to answer the question, Why my child?, I realized that the why didn’t matter. My son had it, and I had to educate myself. I became a student in the halls of Al-Anon, with Dr. MacAfee, our beloved addiction therapist, and with my son himself.  In time, I learned how to be compassionate, but with boundaries. For me, education was the key.

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catherine shapiro
catherine shapiro
1 month ago

Thank you for this meaningful post.

Shirley
Shirley
1 month ago

This was a particularly meaningful post for me. So many times I wondered what have I done wrong in raising my daughter to make her an addict. It took me down a rabbit hole of depression. I ice even picked apart all the difficult times or problems we had, forgetting we had many wonderful memories of camping, traveling and cuddling and much more. Today,I know I’m not responsible and Follow the 3 C’s of Alanon. And I’m so happy that my daughter is doing so well, almost a year clean. Focusing on the now. Thank you Libby! I look forward to your posts in my email every Thursday. XO

Traci
Traci
1 month ago

I agree once you educate yourself and learn the boundaries of your children you can’t have a successful story to tell. It’s a hard road but you do learn a lot and figure out a lot of things even about yourself that you don’t realize. I do think God every day for my children being clean but also I feel if they didn’t go down this road they wouldn’t be the wonderful people they are today they need to learn this lesson also