“I WISH OTHER PEOPLE COULD UNDERSTAND WHAT OUR LIVES WERE LIKE”

Photo Credit: Davood Madadpoor

A mother wrote to me: My son was handsome, respectful, smart, athletic, and a funny young man. Unfortunately, at fifteen, he made a bad choice to experiment with drugs. His life and ours were never the same. He tried to get clean. In fact, he was clean for forty days before he died. I have been blessed with wonderful people in my life, but I know the average person looks down on people who do drugs. I wish other people could understand what our lives were like.

My reflection: Even with the recent public outcry about addiction, society often considers the addict an abyss of moral failure. Many people judge the addict’s family as non-caring, absent, abusive, or non-communicative. Those of us who have addicted children know that this illness doesn’t discriminate. Addiction happens in happy families and unhappy families.

A young addict once told me, “I was raised on a farm in Kansas. My mom and dad were always home, and my entire family worked together on the land. I was fully loved and my family was wonderful. I’m a heroin addict.”

Today’s Promise to consider: I realize that many people judge me when they hear that my son is a heroin addict. I understand that society might criticize me and hold me at fault, but these are the chains of addiction. Today, I will find strength in my support group and continue to love my child without regard for other’s opinions.

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Susan
Susan
3 years ago

Thank you, thank you. This was a wonderful meditation to wake up to.

Pat Nichols
3 years ago

The false judgement of others hinders are own recovery. We hide, afraid to share which only prolongs the pain and fear we are suffering with. Joining a support group and working with a counselor was the last of my choices but thank God I eventually made those choice as it freed me from others and gave me back my peace and serenity.

libbycataldi
libbycataldi
3 years ago
Reply to  Pat Nichols

Yes! Pat, I totally agree with you. I, too, hid and was afraid to open up my heart, but Al-Anon was my saving grace. Support groups, counseling, writing, exercising, and prayer — I need to do it all. Glad you’re here. Keep coming back.

Lynn
Lynn
3 years ago
Reply to  Pat Nichols

Amen.

libbycataldi
libbycataldi
3 years ago
Reply to  Lynn

Lynn, I agree – Amen.

Nanci
Nanci
3 years ago

Libby, this meditation is so on point and I thank you for sharing this. I remain incredibly grateful that my son(s) are good/great, today but have felt and continue to feel what exactly what you stated in your meditation. I can’t imagine what my life would look like today without the support of Alanon, you and Jeff.
Feeling extremely blessed!

libbycataldi
libbycataldi
3 years ago
Reply to  Nanci

My dearest Nanci, Thanks for your kind response. Your sons are wonderful young men, and I join with you in being so very grateful for their health. You and I are blessed, and I’m blessed doubly with your friendship. Love to you and your precious family.

Maureen
Maureen
3 years ago

Just wanted you to know that today’s gospel was about the paralytic who’s friends decided to take him to Jesus for healing. Because there was no easy way to get to Him, they put a hole in the roof of the house where He was and lowered their friend down. Jesus was so impressed with the faith of the man’s friends that he healed the paralytic on the spot. It really is important to have your support group, your friends and family, to be there to help you and your loved addict. You really aren’t alone and those who judge are not your friends. XO

libbycataldi
libbycataldi
3 years ago
Reply to  Maureen

What a perfect gospel for this entry. Thanks for sharing. Yes, we need the help and support of others, especially during the difficult times in our lives. It took me years to understand this. When I first asked for help, it was at an Al-Anon meeting, and I was humbled by the love and non-judgment I found there. We aren’t alone. xo

Lauren
Lauren
3 years ago

I’m an addict in recovery, it’s so difficult for us as well as the family. I wish my family would seek support for themselves, likeI have for the last 25 years

libbycataldi
libbycataldi
3 years ago
Reply to  Lauren

Dear Lauren,

Thanks for sharing your wisdom and truth. Yes, we family members need to allow others to help us, just as you have allowed others to help you. AA was a great support for my son, and Al-Anon was my saving grace. We are stronger together. Twenty-five years of recovery! I pray that one day my son can say the same thing. xoxo

Mitzi Turner Poynter
Mitzi Turner Poynter
3 years ago

I’ve lived on both ends of this disease and now I’m free, only by the grace of God. I now have a ministry Rally Against Heroin and one thing we do is have support group meetings on Mondays, not just for heroin addicts, but addicts of any kind and family members. I also have a son in jail indirectly due to his heroin addiction and one still in active addiction. I fight the stigma from all angles in the small town I live in, Somerset, Ky.
Thanks for being brave & posting this❤ It’s hell on all angles involving addiction until you can feel the chains fall off and feel the light of Love on your face and your life. That’s power we only gain from Jesus. Bless you..

~Mitzi

libbycataldi
libbycataldi
3 years ago

God bless you, Mitzi, for all you are doing for others, including me. Your ministry is a blessing, and I’m sure you are doing much good. I’m sorry about your sons – one in jail and one in active addiction. Yes, addiction wants to suffocate us; it is hell. I join you in prayer and hope, for all our sons and for all the people suffering.

Margaritta
Margaritta
3 years ago

I’m so sorry for your loss , my heart cry when I her parents loosing their kids , we suppose to die before them , right?
I really feel with you , I been through Years with my son , his 26 now clean sober but anything can happen
I live day at a time worry and pray for him and others too , ppl they can’t understand how mother’s live suffer cry worry every single day , I feel I’m drugs without using the drug , it’s hard living with the addict , and even harder living without them .
I’m sorry to hear you lost your son
God bless his soul
and gives the strength to go every day

libbycataldi
libbycataldi
3 years ago
Reply to  Margaritta

Thank you, Margaritta, for writing. God bless your son, who is now clean and sober. It takes courage to live a drug-free life. We all suffer with addiction – our children, us, and our families. You’re right – it’s one day at a time. I join you in prayer and hope for a wonderful future for your son and for all those suffering. I’ll stay close.