My son wrote this in Stay Close about getting and staying sober: I was terrified – faced with getting clean, again. With nothing but failed attempts to reference, sobriety felt impossible. It’s far easier to want to change your life than actually to do it. Following through with the process takes total courage and I was scared to my bones.

My reflection on the above passage: Dr. MacAfee says, “We know about addiction, but what we don’t know much about is the impact of abstinence.” He explains, “Addicts know how to live in addiction – in chaos, with court systems and legal problems. They know how to lie, deceive, and manipulate. What they need to learn how to do is live a transparent life – how to live clean and honest, how to live with serenity.”

Both addiction and recovery are traumatic. MacAfee explains that when the using stops a period of grief for all the lost time, the years gone by, the people hurt, the trail of destruction is inevitable. He said, “The grief will overtake you, Jeff, and it will be hard. But it’s also a sweet time. Savor it.”

Today’s Promise to consider: It takes courage to change: courage for the addict and courage for the parent. Today I will have the courage to change the things I can. Instead of pointing out how others need to change, I’ll start with me.