Jeff - BKJeff and I were talking about gratitude and he said, Early in my recovery, I was grateful to have had “the gift of desperation” – a state of total surrender and willingness to change at any cost. It happens as a result of hitting rock bottom and realizing true defeat. Most addicts will agree that this is one of the most profound moments in the recovery process.  

My reaction: I had never heard of the Gift of Desperation, but it makes sense to me that in the state of desperation we can be most willing to change. When my life was in good shape (or even in moderately good shape), I wasn’t motivated to do anything differently; however, when my life spun into total chaos – when I hit rock bottom and admitted true defeat – I became ready to do whatever was necessary to change my life.

Today’s Promise to consider: The gift of desperation is always waiting for me, but I don’t have to get to this place in order to do something healthy for myself. Today, I will examine my life in an objective way and, if I need to make changes, I will.     

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pat nichols
pat nichols
10 years ago

I was given the gift of desperation and it was through that desperation that I discovered God. He saw in me a “willingness to change at any cost” and He knew I came to Him with a pure heart open to His guidance for His will, not mine.

I am forever grateful.

Libby Cataldi
10 years ago

Dear Pat,

Thanks for your message. I, too, know the gift of desperation, that moment when I surrendered my will to God’s. Controlling was my nature; surrendering was not. But the gift of desperation led me to know a greater peace than I have ever know. I, too, am grateful.


10 years ago

I so understand the gift of desperation. When my son passed away, I went into a very deep depression. After losing 30 pounds, and staying in bed every day, I realized that I had to do something. So, I prayed. And, I prayed. God gave me the will to get up and move on. It was God who gave me the will to practice positive thinking. It’s what is getting me through my grandson’s death. And, I grateful.

I missed you all last week. I was under the weather again, but feel so much better, now.

Pat, I’m so glad you have found some peace in your life.

Libby, you’ve been through so much with your cancer, Jeff, etc. I’m so happy to hear that you’ve also found peace.

Lots of love,

10 years ago

Yes, faith is such a gift –so many of us come to it through desperation. Jesus was my imaginary playmate as a kid I used to think, but now I think not so imaginary. My faith has been strengthened through the challenges and sorrow, I know this. Many many monets of desperation.
Staying connected to Presence is not alway easy.

My mother –after a mastectomy last month has been declared cancer free and does nor need any chemo. We are so VERY grateful, as my brother died a year ago because of treatment not the disease. Prayers answered.

When there is nowhere to go but deep inside — God is waiting. My son says he has a rosary given to him by the prison chaplain. He is praying.
As soon as my mother’s crisis was over -last week –my thoughts have been so constantly with my son — flooded by images of my son is jail–as if I’d been keeping them at bay for my mother.

It is okay some days to just be sad ven as I let go and let lGod hold my son because I cannot.

Work is good medicine. Keep on keeping on. Thanks Pat and Barbara and Libby. Every bird that I see take flight I pray for all of us.

10 years ago

Dear Joy,

Your son has a rosary and he is praying. Praying the rosary can be very powerful. He is in my prayers as well as you and everyone who has addiction in their lives.

Don’t forget to take good care of yourself. You are one of God’s children, too.

My love,