My reflection: When I read this mother’s message, it hit me hard. Her words make total sense. Our loved ones look into our eyes and see the deep hurt in our hearts.
Today’s Promise to consider: “The eyes are the mirror of the soul and reflect everything that seems to be hidden; and like a mirror, they also reflect the person looking into them.” Our sensitive and suffering loved ones look into our eyes and see our sadness caused by their behavior, our disappointments in their progress, and our hurts with them as our children. This is sad and hard to avoid, but how could they not take this to heart? Today, I must be cognizant of the way I respond to my loved ones. I want them to see my love and hope.
- quote, Paulo Coelho, Manuscript Found in Accra
View Comments (7)
I still read your encouraging words long after my son has been sober!
Those feelings are so deep and the wounds will be a part of my life's story. But...also the victory for my son!
Thank you, Pat, for staying close all these years. You're right that the wounds and memories are baked into our very bones. Your son is healthy today!!! Yes, a true victory. I join you in celebration and faith.
I am so sorry for the loss of this woman’s son.
How very sad. There have been many times that I’ve been aware of the deep shame my son feels. I’m sure it’s what has been responsible for some of his relapses. I struggle and wonder every day about what to say to help ease that pain (thinking recovery could be more possible). My husband feels that the shame could be what he needs, to inspire that recovery. It’s always what to say and what not to say. What could help, what could harm, how to help, how to stand back.
It’s no wonder it’s a disease (of insanity) for the whole family.
My deep condolences to the author for this post. Only by the grace of God have we not experienced that loss.
Dear Laurie, You're so right. There are no easy answers with addiction. Do we help? Do we stand back? Do we scream? Do we open the door? Yes, it's a family disease that can make us all crazy, and the insanity can linger for years.
My love to you and my thanks for staying close. I join you in prayer and love for all those who are suffering, especially for those who have lost a child. The supreme pain.
About the eyes
I understand about looking into our loved ones eyes, but my experience is different. My brother, John, an alcoholic, died 6 years ago this July. I had a hard time looking into his eyes and I regret it, I hated the disease so badly. But looking into the eyes validates the person. Even if there is addiction, we still need to let the person know that they are worth our looking into their eyes. Never give up hope and forgive (especially yourself!).
Dearest Diane, Your words brought tears to my eyes. "Even if there is addiction, we still need to let the person know that they are worth our looking into their eyes." Your words touched me and will also touch many others. Yes, forgiveness of self. That can be difficult, but it is the beginning of healing. My love and thanks.