Jeremy, Iysa, Libby, and Jeff
I wrote this passage three years after Jeff chose sobriety, My son’s growth is evident. He laughs more easily, he watches more calmly, he protects himself better. He knows where he hurts and he pays attention to what is coming. He’s more reflective, thoughtful, less impulsive, and more honest. He has good friends. Part of my son died with the addiction, but the son I know is alive. Suffice it to say that he is becoming a strong and caring man.
One year earlier, he told me, “When I awake in the morning, I know if it’s going to be a good day. Some mornings, I reach for a word and it’s like reaching into the fog. Other mornings, when I reach for a word, I pluck it easily out of the air.” He continued, “I’m frustrated that some days aren’t clear, but I guess it will take time. I need to be patient.”
My reflection: We often write about the pain and chaos of addiction, but it’s also important to learn about the process of recovery. My son’s words reminded me that we need to be gentle as our loved ones learn how to live in abstinence.
Today’s Promise to consider: I will be patient with my child’s journey as he learns how to live a life without drugs. Just like healing from any other disease, time takes time, and the process is often painstaking. The joy is in recovery, one day at a time.
Our children’s recovery is a miraculous journey. However, I had to first experience my own recovery from codependency in order to fully appreciate my child’s recovery. My sponsor would remind me that it is not important for me to be concerned about how many AA meetings per week my child was attending or if he had a sponsor etc. I focused on me, my recovery. I started a gratitude journal and would read it every day. That was a huge step for me and as I looked back the gratitude journal was a important step in creating a new me. By the way, Libby and her book, “Stay Close” was on my first page. Blessings libby.