My personal reflection on the passage offering my thoughts today: Jeff talked with a group of young recovering addicts ages fourteen to eighteen. One boy said, “I can’t even listen to the same music I used to. It brings back memories and I sometimes feel the urge to use when I hear it.” Jeff replied, “Yeah, I get it. When I got sober, I didn’t even know what color I liked. I had to learn what I was about without drugs. I had to get to know me.”
When he said this, I realized that we all have to get to know each other again. After fourteen years of drug addiction, Jeff changed, Jeremy changed and so did I. Dr. MacAfee told me, “Just stay quiet with Jeff. He’ll feel your quiet support and he’ll take the time he needs to do what he needs to do to be true to himself.”
Today’s Promise to consider: I’ll be patient with my loved one and with myself. We are growing and changing. I’ll stand quietly with him, next to him and love him through to truth.
524
View Comments (17)
I love that picture of you two. It says so much. Wish I had one like that with my son. Next visit... Your words keep me calm and hopeful all will go well.
In between relapses I am so hopeful. My daughter and I share a common goal in those times. I know her well and she doesn't fool me. She has the tools, and she knows the steps, she has to work them, to make them work for her. In times of frustration, she yells "It's my Reovery!" and I think to myself, "well, yes it sure is, and - I don't need to stress over yours, I have one of my own. Standing quietly makes everyone think before they speak - and that is wise
Dear Carol, Thanks for the warm comments about Jeff and me. Every day is a learning experience. Love to you!
Dear Chrissy, I love your comment that you don't need to stress over your daughter's recovery and that you have your own. I agree 100%!! They have their work and we have ours!! Jeff knows the steps and in one rehab center the counselor told me, "He knows the steps so well, he could teach them." It was still five more years after that comment that Jeff got clean. No one can make them do their work except them. Love to you!
This was a great post as I needed to read every word.
I am researching how best to approach grieving the loss of the child of my dreams. My child is in late stage addiction.
This post help me understand that there is always hope and what to expect should my son, one day, accept recovery.
I need to learn more about this, any books you or others suggest etc.
In prayer for all our children.
Dear Pat, Beautifully said, "grieving the loss of the child of my dreams." Families change around addiction and everyone suffers. I don't know of any books, but I'll ask Dr. MacAfee. Let's keep our children in our prayers. L
Dear Libby, as I read your meditations and blog comments, I remind myself to be patient with myself. Even though I lost my son to addiction (in death), I have to remember daily to have patience with the grieving. Your kind words and support give me that....
I enjoyed reading your blog for the first time. Thank you all for the support!
Dear Barbara, Thank you for your compassionate message. Your support means the world to me. I am so sorry for your son's death. Please accept my love and respect. L
Libby,
I feel like I know my son so well, then there are times, I wonder! He is 5 months clean and, I am so happy for him, he is working hard. There are still things he says or does that I wonder, "Who is this?"
I am learning to be quiet, lol!! I love the advice, "Just stay quiet with Jeff". Quiet Love, I needed this post. Thanks for all you do!
Victoria
Thanks, Victoria. Learning to be quiet is not easy :), but I'm trying. We'll try together. We'll stay close to our sons and give them our quiet love. Love to you!
I am early in my recovery - my own, and my daughters. I talk too much,, sometimes, then I stop,, and think. She knows what I am gonna say, before I say it. Currently, she is using and it tests the new skills that I am learning in Al Anon - Detachment and Quiet Support. There is a certain serentity in "Let Go and Let God" - I find a great deal of comfort in this - Although I struggle, sometimes that seems this is the easy way out for me not to deal with it - as I said, I am still living and learning the 12 steps.