An Italian friend wrote to me: This disease of addiction does awful things to a family. I love my brother, but our situation is a mess, and I flip between gratitude that he is still alive and anger for all the chaos that continues. For our family, it inhibits our ability to plan for the future as we pay for medical treatments and try to build new relationships. Addiction even stifles dreams and personal ambitions because we decide, more or less consciously, that our priority is the healing of addicted loved ones.
My reflection: The family often gets mired in the addiction to the point where nothing else matters. I remember when Jeff was in his last treatment center where there was a young man, about 20 years of age, who had a sports scholarship to college. His dad was a Chemistry teacher and his mom taught third grade. They had taken a second mortgage on their home in order to afford the rehab center. Jeff later told me that when the young man returned to college, he relapsed.
Today’s Promise to consider: It’s easy for families to drown in the tidal waves of addiction. We parents must be vigilant so we don’t fall into this abyss and jeopardize the security of our family. Other members need us. It’s imperative that we learn how to stay close, without compromising our future.
The secret to rediscovering our peace and serenity lies in accepting that what are loved one and we are experiencing is the result of a disease, a mental illness. Imagine you are sitting at your kitchen table and in front of you is a cup, this cup is full of your personal knowledge about addiction. Now, you see yourself walking over to the kitchen sink and pouring all of your knowledge down the drain. You return to the kitchen table with your empty cup and you start filling it up with the knowledge of “your” personal recovery. Where do you get such knowledge? You begin by selecting a support group like Al-Anon or Families Anonymous while acknowledging that your recovery can not be done alone. You attend at least six meetings before deciding which group is best for you. Then before the next three meeting are finished you locate a sponsor and begin working the steps. During this process you read everything you can about addiction. You study it like your life depends on it…….because it does! You will begin drawing closer to the God of your understanding and you will come to believe that it is He that is the foundation of your recovery. You will come to believe that your God can be trusted. This trust is your foundation of the new life you will soon discover, one that restores your peace and serenity, one that gives you back the ability to forgive and one that rebuilds the life you were meant to live. One of purpose, love and compassion.
thanks for posting this. Im a recovering addict and have put my parents through hell. I could never give back to my mom all ive taken from her and am so grateful for everything theyve done. i used kratom to help me detox and would recommend it for opiate withdrawal