Relapse Archives - Page 6 of 6

Sep 27, 2012

VICTORY: ONE DAY AT A TIME, PART 1

by libbycataldi under Acceptance, Communication, Dr. Patrick MacAfee, Relapse

A mom wrote to me: My son entered another halfway house and today he is doing well. Last year after rehab, he was supposed to have gone there, but he chose not to. Thankfully, this time, he made the decision himself, and I know he has to keep making the right decisions. Although relapse feels so defeating, I can see a positive difference in him each time he relapses and gets clean again. I think I’m finally getting the hang of “One day at a time.”

My thoughts: Dr. MacAfee says, Relapse isn’t failure. Failure is not trying again. It took me a long time to understand this. With each of Jeff’s relapses, I felt kicked in the belly, but I now realize that each honest attempt to get clean was a victory.

Today’s Promise to consider: We can’t define what success looks like for anyone else. For an addict, twenty-four hours of sobriety is a huge victory. Today, I’ll celebrate the successes of others. It’s not my place to be the judge or jury, but I will be a proud member of the supporting troops.

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Aug 30, 2012

VOICES OF RECOVERY, PART 3

by libbycataldi under family, Jeremy, Recovery, Relapse

Son Jeremy staying close to his daughter Iysa.

A recovering addict wrote to me: My husband and I are both recovering addicts. After two years of sobriety, he relapsed. I don’t know which side is harder – the addict in active addiction or the loved one of that addict. Knowing Jeffrey and I have both managed to let God bring us back to the world of recovery brings me hope. I know my husband’s journey is his, and I can’t and have no right to take it from him. You never know when God’s miracle happens, but it usually happens when we get out of the way and leave it up to Him.

My thoughts: This young woman knows both sides of addiction. As hard as this must be, she also knows the hope of recovery, her own and her loved one’s. Her words touch me, “I know his journey is his, and I can’t and have no right to take it from him.” We never know when God’s miracle happens, but for me I’ve learned that it happens when I get out of the chaos and find my serenity.

Today’s Promise to consider: Both sides of any problem are difficult: There is the perspective of the one who must make the journey and the perspective of the one who watches and loves. As a mom, I know only one side, mine. I can’t take away my loved one’s pain, but I can stay close with compassion and prayer.

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Apr 18, 2012

RELAPSE and COURAGE

by libbycataldi under Communication, Forgiveness, Hope, Jeff, Relapse, Stay Close

A mother writes: My son is still on the revolving road to recovery. He has been in detox three times, rehab (both inpatient and outpatient), in a sober house, involved in AA with a sponsor and is presently trying the suboxone route with individual counseling. My heart is broken, but I will find my courage.

My reaction to the above: The addict must learn to live in abstinence and that’s a new and scary place for him. He knows how to live in addiction, but abstinence requires skills that are foreign to him.

Relapse happened often to my son. I understood in a deeper way when Jeff wrote about a friend who relapsed, “I know that place. He was in pain, and it was too much. He used to kill it. Then he needs to keep using because the addiction has kicked in. An addict loses all sense of free will; you’re thrown back into the space of obsession, of always needing something more. I’m sure he’s scared and confused.”

Today’s Promise to Consider: Relapse scares me as a mom, but I will remember that it’s also frightening for my loved one. Learning to live in abstinence is his goal. Having the courage to stay close is mine.

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Mar 8, 2012

GIVING BACK

by libbycataldi under family, Hope, Recovery, Relapse

Uncle Jeff and niece Iysa

A mother wrote to me: I work in a hospital and today we received a seventeen-year old, attempted OD and positive for opiates. I felt so helpless. I knew there was probably (hopefully) a mother, father or someone with this young addict and I wished I could have gone to his or her side to offer support. I know that feeling of being in the ER with a loved one, frightened.

I feel it’s time for me to give back, to do something. Please pray that I have the courage and strength to follow through with offering myself to speak with/be there with other families in time of need.

My personal reaction to this message: I will pray that this mom and others find the courage and strength to step forward and help others, to reach out a hand to a brother, mother, father or sister. Addiction is steeped in shame, stigma, silence and secrets. Stepping forward is not easy, but when I was young, we didn’t talk about abortion, homosexuality or even divorce. Today we talk about these issues and confront them.

Today’s Promise to consider: I will find the strength to help someone today. I will reach out a hand or lend a listening ear. I will do it simply and be present for another.

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Jan 26, 2012

THE HURRICANE OF ADDICTION

by libbycataldi under Communication, family, Relapse, Stay Close

A mom wrote: After nine months of sobriety my 32-year-old son has slipped again, this time deeper than ever into the darkness of his substance. His drug of choice? “Any drug.”

He found his way to a local hospital just yesterday after months of smoking crack. He lost a good job, forgot he has a five-year-old son and was homeless and sleeping behind a convenience store in the winter.

His addiction is like a hurricane sweeping through our lives, destroying and uprooting everything in its path. Over time I have learned that when the winds begin to blow, I board the windows of my mind and heart, disconnect the phones and hunker down for the storm to come. The wind builds and there is nowhere to hide. Each time I pray this will be the last, but it repeats, teases and taunts. I get a glimpse of blue sky only for it to be quickly replaced by black clouds again.

“Please let me come home,” he says.

“No,” I answer.

“I just want to come home. Why won’t you let me come home?”

Just as I love the rain and the softness of a warm breeze, I love my son.

Just as I hate the torrential downpour, the gale-force wind and mindless destroyer, I hate the addiction that has taken my son.

Today’s Promise to Consider: Relapse suffocates hope and faith, but I know that the decision to stop using has to come from the addict directly. It is a personal choice, not a family choice. I can the hate the addiction, but I will love my son. I will continue to believe.

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