A mom wrote to me: Wednesday, I talked with my daughter and all was well. Thursday, she walked out of rehab. She is now on the streets and, when she calls me, she lies and tries to manipulate me beyond my wildest dreams. Today, she texted me a simple message, Don’t worry Momma, everything will be ok, I promise. An hour ago, I received a call from a hospital that my daughter was there and asking for detox. I can only hope that we can find a sense of peace that has been lost for so long.
My reflection: Jeff was in active addiction for 14 years, and I did everything I could to force him to live a sober life. I threatened, cajoled, pleaded, wept, and wrung my hands. I punished, screamed, fought, ached, had nightmares and stuffed my emotions into my belly. None of this did any good.
Today’s Promise to consider: Jeff alone made the decision to change his life. When the consequences of his addiction became too painful, too unbearable, he chose sobriety. For today, I’ll stay close, but out of the chaos. I’ll pray that my addicted love one finds his own path to freedom.
This really hit home for me. My son is a recovering heroin addict. I begged and pleaded with him to get help. When I removed myself from the chaos and started attending Nar-Anon I realized he must chose sobriety for himself. On April 7, 2014 my son did just that. He is has been clean for 16 months and is building the life he deserves. I continue to pray for him and all if our addicted loved ones.
My husband has been in active addiction and just completed a 31 day treatment, at his,own choosing….stayed clean for 17 days and is now lying and using again. Thank God I am in my own program and thanks to NarAnon I am able to stay focused on myself….I’m thankful for your weekly blog Libby, and today’s subject is so true. One day at a time….
I feel so helpless when I know my son lies to me about his addiction. Always trying to convince me that he is clean, when all the signs show me he isn’t.
I have done the yelling and crying and begging but have come to realize that will only push him away and possibly make things worse.
“Don’t worry Momma, everything will be ok, I promise.” Is a text or call I pray for everyday. Along with the calls I pray I will not receive. I am not sure which scares me more, Not getting the text or call from him….or getting the call I am so dreading.
Todays Promise to consider….gives me a renewed hope that I have almost completely lost at this point.
Thank you.
My son has been in active addiction for 22 years. Like all parents I eventually learned I did not cause his disease, I can’t control it and I definitely have no cure. What helped my son the most and myself was when the pain of my son’s addiction became too great for me to bear – that is when I changed, when I found my own recovery and focused on returning to my own peace and serenity.
If Only
If only words could transform me. If only a more experienced parent could lay out the perfect plan for me. If only the God of my understanding could magically grant my every wish.
If only I could have screamed out much earlier to the God of my understanding to bring me more pain. Please God, send me more pain and suffering, bring me to my knees, to my deepest despair. Then, I will be freed . I will turn my will over to you; I will fight my way back and discover that life is good and I can have a life of joy and fulfillment. Please God, send me more suffering. I need more pain so I can live once again.
God answered my prayer and sent me more pain and suffering than I could have ever imagined.
He brought me to Families Anonymous where I was understood and loved – where the pain and suffering recedes with time and hard work.
Thank you God for your gift of pain, forgiveness and strength as I would not be the person I am today without these gifts.
Mio figlio sta facendo droga non so esatto da quando , adesso sta in detox . Ho parlato con San Patrignano con la speranza che lui faccia la decisione di andare.Mi farebbe piacere parlare con la signora Libby . Grazie.
Signora Giuseppina,
La ringrazio per il messaggio purtroppo sono in viaggio in Basilicata con la mia famiglia e non sono raggiungibile. Rientrerò a casa a Firenze la prossima settimana quando posso contattarla.
Per quanto riguarda San Pa, spero che il suo figlio vada perché avevo visto i miracoli che accadono li, ma lui deve dire di si per entrare la comunità.
Le sono vicina. Preghiamo insieme per il suo figlio. A presto.
Libby
Being a Mom, we all have these “feelings” when out kids are not okay. My daugher has been in and out of rehabs for years. She is 28. I would say this started about 5 or so years ago. Just a few weeks ago she left a sober living house because of some either arguments or bullying. She said she would be ok. She said she didn’t need meetings. I knew she did. About a week ago I received a message from her saying she needed help and she was going to kill herself. She needed heroin bad. I didn’t have anywhere to go to do the prayer things so I got her address and called 911. The police got her and got her to the hospital ER. She was admitted for about 6 days. She was at least detoxed right. I was really grateful for these policemen and I don’t even know their names.
The only thing more painful than loving an addict is losing an addict. I lost 2 close family members to this horrible disease at a very young age which left 4 young children motherless. Still a few more family members still out there suffering from their addictions So very sad to see so many people loving an addict, but so grateful for the support that we can share with each other. Prayers for all of those still suffering from this disease and all of those that love them. We can’t fix them, but we can fix ourselves by getting educated and finding a good support group.