A mother wrote to me: I’m afraid and I’m giving up. Recovery was going well, I thought. Making meetings, new job he likes, nice girlfriend…I was beginning to trust and hope. In the last week, money taken from my purse, relapse, violation of probation. Now it’s back to court and maybe prison this time. I can’t do this again.
My reflection: Hope is fragile and fear is powerful. I wonder why fear seems to be stronger than hope? I don’t know, but I do know that there were times when I felt like giving up on prayer and giving into fear. When addiction rises up again and again, knocking us to the ground, we feel crushed and confused. But if we lose faith and hope, all is lost. We need to stay close to our children, but our children need to fight their own battles.
Today’s Promise: I am only human and sometimes I feel as though I can’t go on. But I will and I’ll go on in hope. I refuse to sacrifice my life at the altar of fear.
“We can’t be armor for our children. We can only be supporting troops.” Irwin Shaw
This is so, so true! I love your meditations!!! They mean so much too me! I put my son in jail for 10 months in feb., my husband, his loving father passed away April 3 after a nasty fight with ALS. I miss both of them so much and I wonder sometimes that the prayers aren’t working.
“I refuse to sacrifice my life at the alter of fear.” How do we get to the point of refusal? One word answer this question, PAIN.
When dealing with addiction each of us has our own personal level of the pain of “addiction” tolerance. I endured the pain of my child’s addiction for twelve years before I reached the point of refusal.
I put all my energy into fear, anger, frustration and denial instead of solutions.
I recently read a book in which the author stated, “…that an emotion like anger or fear has a life span of just 90 seconds from the moment it’s triggered until it runs its course. After that, we are simply restimulating that anger and fear with our internal conversation. In this case our wandering mind prefers to watch reruns, over and over again.” Wow, can I relate to that!
My solution was to pour out all “MY” knowledge and fill my empty cup with the knowledge of God. The knowledge from books like, “Stay Close.” The wisdom of my alcohol/drug counselor. The love and compassion from my Families Anonymous support group.
I made my recovery my life’s work, my passion, and I have been rewarded with a new life. One that allows me to give back what was freely given to me.
May it be so for all who suffer from this dreadful disease.
I read this today and as a parent of a child who has recovered I look to share my experience with exercising hope….I know that I am simply trusting God and refusing to trust what life throws at me,… Whether it is relapse or recovery…I had to choose to blindly hold on to faith…the belief in things not seen…so I say have faith and know that faith even the size of a mustard seed will see you through.. For we walk by faith not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7 He is holding on to you, even at times when you feel you have let go….and the liove and encouragement of people here on this page…our love and compassion towards each other is a blessed covering…..will be praying for you.
July 27
Hope is a golden cord connecting you to heaven. This cord helps you hold your head up high, even when multiple trials are buffeting you. I never leave your side, and I never let go of your hand. But without the cord of hope, your head may slump and your feet may shuffle as you journey uphill with Me. Hope lifts your perspective from your weary feet to the glorious view you can see from the high road. You are reminded that the road we’re traveling together is ultimately a highway to heaven. When you consider this radiant destination, the roughness or smoothness of the road ahead becomes much less significant. I am training you to hold in your heart a dual focus: My continual Presence and the hope of heaven.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
—Romans 12:12
But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.
—1 Thessalonians 5:8
God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain.
—Hebrews 6:18–19
It is so hard to remain hopeful. After so many years there are times I feel there is nothing left in me. Prayer, meetings, counseling, this group, do drive me forward but the work it takes can easily drain a person.
There are times I feel so guilty because although I have not heard from or seen my daughter in eight months now it has allowed me some peace. Our home and my other two kids have had a chance to settle into daily activity without the chaos and it is refreshing.
I do hope for change but I also fear what may come, what a conundrum this is.
Dear Sue,
Your daughter is out there somewhere, and I’m sure she knows how much you love her and care for her. Libby is right. We must allow our children to fight their own battles. Your daughter is fighting her battle with drugs. Try not to give up on hope. There is still hope for her. One day, she may wake up and realize that she can’t live like this anymore. My prayers go out to you with hugs and love. I will pray that your daughter will find sobriety, soon.
Barbara
My prayers are with you. I hope you have friends who will hug you cry with you … I hope for you privacy and time in which you can simply just stop and rest… May you know that at the least there are so many of us covering you with our strength… Just as we are covered by the strength of others covering us. May God continue to be our guide through this amazingly painful journey… May the pain never block out the rays of sunshine and hope that still exist…may blessings always penetrate your
I feel hopeless everyday until I read a page of the book Jesus Calling by Sara Young. It is God speaking directly to me. I hold on tight to his right hand as He keeps reminding me. He says HE IS ABOVE ALL MY CIRCUMSTANCES. The most important thing he asks is for me to remain in His presence. He can cast out fear. Just keep gazing at Him in your heart mind and soul. Don’t take your eyes off Him. Remember Jesus walking on water. Peter was called to walk to Jesus on the water and peter walked on the water looking at Jesus. Then Peter looked away and started to sink but Jesus grabbed Peter by his right hand and pulled him up. Jesus said to him WHAT LITTLE FAITH: Trust in Jesus.