A young man wrote to me: As a recovering addict, I know well that relapse happens. It took me many attempts to find sobriety. Each addict is unique in his or her own way, but for me I spent more than a decade avoiding the true problem – myself. Drugs filled the void inside me, an empty space of insecurity and anxiety (and sure a rebellious side when I was young). The road to recovery is a long one and the answer lies within the addict.
My reflection: When my son was in active addiction, I threatened, cajoled, pleaded, and would have sold my soul for his recovery. But all my machinations were futile. My son had to find the answer inside himself, and for himself.
Today’s Promise to consider: It took me fourteen years of addiction’s trauma to accept that relapse happens. By the grace of God, my son survived his many relapses. Lots of families aren’t as fortunate. Throughout it all I was forced to admit that I didn’t have the ability to cure the addiction, fix it, or make it go away. I was powerless, and my son needed to find the answer inside himself.
Your words are great comfort thank you from my heart
Dear Laurie, Your comment means the world to me. Thank you.
Important post with great insight into this disease. It took me ten years before I began to understand this wisdom. I fought the truth and did what I needed to to strengthen my denial. Eventually the disease created so much pain in me that I could no longer hold on to my denial. Yes, it takes great pain to set us free but in our own recovery we find renewed strength, peace and even serenity. Seek out the God of your understanding, join a 12 step program, educate yourself fully and find professional help — this is the path to a new life, in my personal opinion. Blessings!
Dear Pat, Your words hit me hard, “I fought the truth and did what I needed to do to strengthen my denial.” I never thought of it that way, but that’s what we do — we fight the truth that is right in front of us, keep doing the same craziness, and strengthen our denial by isolating ourselves. No one wants pain, and we certainly want to protect our children from pain, but – as you write – it is pain that sets us free. So confounding!, but true. Thanks, as always, for sharing your wisdom. We continue to learn together. Blessings back to you and yours.