During the homily at Easter Sunday Mass, Father Scott said, “Love makes the difference.” He talked about faith, hope and love, and wanted us to hear the message that, even as Jesus confronted death, it was His love for us that made the difference.
My reflection: Father Scott’s words reminded me that with my own children it was love that made the difference when we faced addiction. Love couldn’t save my son his fourteen-year journey and love couldn’t save my younger son the suffering that addiction spew, but in the end it was love that made the difference in helping us stay close and begin to heal.
Today’s Promise to consider: Through all the trauma that addiction brings, we parents make some good decisions and some others that might not be the best. Through it all, the most important part is that our children know we love them. Today, I’ll continue to love my child who is alive and under the drugs. I’ll stay close, but out of the chaos of his addiction.
Love, compassion, understanding and forgiveness is what eventually fuels our addicted children’s long term recovery. Hope is resting inside their very souls waiting for that magical mystical spiritual awakening and this hope remains alive due to the family’s love, compassion, understanding and forgiveness.
Beautifully said, Pat. ….’that magical mystical spiritual awakening.” My sincere thanks for sharing your wisdom and compassion.
When I look back on the journey we have taken with my daughters addiction I realize that my love for her took on many forms. It was always there, shadowed or influenced by fear or despair, but always there. I felt so much anger and hurt and thought such awful things at times I can’t even believe it. I know now that it was the inability to do anything about this situation that had made me feel my love had faltered.
Stepping away and just being there for her is what I needed to do. I also needed to let go of the guilt I carried about any negative feelings I may have had for her. We all do our best trying to figure this process out and I think we all need to be kind with ourselves too.
Love heals.
Sue, You are so right — we need to be kind with ourselves. Guilt, anger, despair, and fear are all part of this disease. Yes, the best thing you did for her (and the best thing I did for my son) was to stay close for her as she fought her fight. As much as we love them, we can’t fix it for them. Compassion – for them and for us. Thanks for sharing your wisdom. My love to you.