A young man in recovery wrote to me: Anger is a clear and abrupt signal that something is wrong. I’m learning to respond to my anger by:

1) Not reacting in the moment. When I feel “hot,” let it sit – like a baking tray coming out of the oven.

2) Examining the anger when I’ve cooled down. What about it caused me to respond so negatively? What role did I play in the situation? What insights do my sponsor and support group have?

3) Taking action. How can I respond in a wise and constructive way to the problem?

My reflection: When my son was in active addiction, there were countless times when I erupted in anger. I felt powerless and didn’t know what to do with the rage that engulfed me. My explosions helped no one – not me, my family, or my son.

Today’s Promise to consider: Anger is a normal response and, with addiction, one that seems to come easily. It can be constructive if it causes us to take good action, but it can also blind us from making smart choices. For me, I’ve learned that anger is usually a kind of fire blanket that covers up my deeper emotions of fear, insecurity, or hurt. Today, I won’t be overwhelmed by anger, but I will pause, think, and pray for clarity. Those persons in recovery have much to teach us. Let me try this young man’s three steps.