Dr. MacAfee wrote, The addiction story is a microcosm of isolation, fear, terror, confusion, and secrecy turned inward on itself in a never-ending litany of questions: “what went wrong?” “who is to blame?” “why can’t you stop?” and “why are you doing this to us?” This drama is far more prevalent than most people realize, until addiction enters our homes and becomes a part of our own stories.
My reflection: Fear is a powerful force. When my son was in active addiction, I lived in fear. It did me no good and, moreover, my health and family suffered as I lived the daily trauma of anxiety. Only when I surrendered, stayed close, but out of the chaos, and acted out of love did addiction’s grasp begin to lose its hold on me.
Today’s Promise to consider: Fear exacerbates addiction, but it also exacerbates our fear of the pandemic, contagion, protests on the streets, gun violence, and a myriad of issues happening today. Fear can either mobilize us into action, or it can take over and paralyze us. Today, let us meet fear with courage, with strength, and with a resolve to accept what is and to move forward with hope. Love conquers fear.
Excellent perspective Libby! How do we find the courage and strength to fight off fear? In my experience I started with trusting “fully” in the God of my understanding. In addition, I went regularly to an experienced alcohol/drug counselor. I asked many questions, I listened and I believed, then I took action. I joined a 12 step program and found a sponsor and worked the 12 steps. As I did so I read every book anyone recommended on the disease of addiction. It took two years of hard work on my part but eventually I was freed from my enabling and codependency. I was able to free the hold fear had on me and I regained my own peace and serenity. I sincerely believe that finding my own personal recovery allowed my son to find his long term recovery sooner. To YOU who have just read my post, I know you! I understand completely. Miracles happen, don’t ever give up on yourself or your child! In prayer now for YOU and all who suffer from this disgusting disease.
Dearest Pat, You worked hard to learn how to face the fear of addiction, and I admire you. I, too, had to work at it and it didn’t come easily. In addition, my fear was like waves. Just when I thought I had it under control, it would come roaring back and suffocate me. Even today, I need to remember to pray, breathe, reach out to my support group, write, meditate, exercise, and do whatever else might help. I love your sentence, ‘Miracles happen, don’t ever give up on yourself or your child!’ Such wisdom and hope. Thanks, Pat.
I can totally relate to anxiety coming roaring back every time I think I’m doing good!
Thank you for all your wisdom it helps to know that I’m not alone in this blender of emotions.
You’re right that the anxiety comes roaring back! I love your words – ‘this blender of emotions.’ Such perfect wording for what we all go through. xo