A mom wrote to Jeff, Very interesting to hear you say that while your life is not perfect and everyday is challenging, you have a peace about it. I get this. While very different, sometimes I cannot believe how I have continued to move forward since my husband passed, how I can be at peace and even generally happy, how I have had to accept that what I thought would be my future with my best friend and the life that I envisioned…will not be. I can only attribute this attitude and “peace” to my spiritual relationship. Jeff, so glad you have found this.
My response: I want to write that I, too, have peace, but I still struggle. I believe that my spiritual core needs strengthened. I need to nurture it, be silent and pray more. As Mother Teresa says, “In the silence of the heart God speaks. It is only when you realize your emptiness that God can fill you with Himself. Souls of prayer are souls of great silence.”
Today’s Promise to consider: I will take ten minutes at the beginning of my day to be still and try to silence the noise in my head. I will open my heart to a feeling of peace. I will make this part of my morning routine.
I just love what Mother Theresa said. “in the silence of the heart God speaks”. I truly believe this because I’ve been practicing this for years. I don’t know what I would have done without my spiritual relationship with God. I agree with Libby, our spiritual core can always be strengthened if we set aside some time for it, just like we set aside time to have our coffee, to eat, and to sleep.
Dear Libby, I love the picture, again! It’s SO italian 🙂
God bless you and all who have addiction in their lives.
Barbara
Dear Barbara,
Thanks for staying close week after week. My spiritual core seems to ebb and flow depending on life’s problems, and I feel disappointed with myself. I’ve started this morning ritual, and I agree with you that, with practice, it will become part of my day. Starting each and every day with God and peace sounds perfect. Love you!!!
L
I used to have a strong ritual of centering prayer. It helped me so much. I have lost that ritual this past year and the peace it brought. Thank you for this reminder. I will try to establish my practice again. To be still and listen is hard on days the pain feels so deep. These days, I feel like I am accepting the degree to which the disease has stolen my son-and the loss feels like death without a ceremony to help in the healing or people telling you they are sorry for your loss — –the grief feels overwhelming. When I am still in that huge way–opening up to God to listen– I feel almost physically sick. But I know, giving up hope is not the answer. My son in active addiction is hurting so many people. I am not just feeling my pain alone. So many broken hearted. That breaks my heart. And yes, maybe he is in hell, but it sure seems like those who love him are in a worse hell. My hope he is on a healing path at some level remains but my compassion for him is slipping away. My job is seems is to deal with my real grief over the son I have lost. I will begin each day with my prayer time again and see where that leads. I will go on retreat. I will breathe in and know that healing Spirit is all around us and there in our deepest pain.
Dear Hope,
My heart goes out to you. When my son was in active addiction, my compassion was lost. I know how overwhelming that feels. There are no words to express the deep wounds it leaves in your heart.
I will pray for you today. I will pray that you will find some peace, if just for today, if just for a few minutes, a few hours.
God bless you,
Barbara
Dear Hope,
I agree with Barbara; I remember the hatred of the addiction and the deep feelings of betrayal and loss. I didn’t want to hear from Jeff, but then I ached to hear from him. I didn’t want to know where he was, but I ached to know, hoping against hope that he was safe and possibly healthy. My feelings were so complex, so utterly confusing and convoluted. This is a mother’s heart.
All we can do is take care of ourselves, strengthen ourselves and protect our hearts. I remember reminding myself to breathe. Breathing helped. I’d forget to pray – it all seemed so hard, so painful.
You are not alone. We are with you. Breathe today, pray today, do something for your serenity.
All my love,
L
Thank you so and Bless you both. I write through my tears feeling so grateful for the love that comes from two who really REALLY know this place. Some days, it is an hour at a time. A breath at a time. I have been working hard and travelling and putting on as brave a face as I can to do my work–my work usually brings some joy—– I wonder if this is what it feels like to have a split personality.
I am going to make a hot cup of tea go back to bed today. I never do that . I have a pile of books. It is raining. I can goof off doing doing doing and rest. I think I will read Stay Close again. Love Hope (: xo
Hope, Here’s to a lovely day of goofing off, reading, drinking tea and maybe a nap. Pamper yourself today; tomorrow will be here soon enough. We are with you in spirit and love.
Dear Hope,
I began my prayer ritual this morning, praying for you. Let the angels send them your way!!
With much love,
Barbara
Hope, I read Barbara’s post and did the same. Prayers for angels, coming your way!
L
I find that starting my day with prayer makes a difference.
We did too- my husband and I together, and I felt your loving beams. The day has been less sad. I tried to concentrate on what I was grateful for. Thank you for holding my heart up. It feels like coming home when I sit in silent prayer. I’ll end my day with the same ritual. Yes Paula, it does make a difference. Instead of running away from reality , it makes me face it and deal with it. And the pain is eased in prayer. A softness enters my heart and that feels more like me and a lot better than the rigid armour I have to clank around in to get through my days sometimes. To be both soft and fearless. Compassionate and strong. Such a challenge sometimes. Such a mountain. Just for today: I can love from afar I can cope I can pray for my son I can hope Thanks all.
I have started the ritual of reading in the morning, first I read the daily passage in Starting Your Day Right by Joyce Meyer, then I read a passage from One Day At A Time in AlAnon and Courage to Change. This ritual seems to help calm and give me hope that some day, some time, my son will choose sobriety. I too had started to lose my compassion and felt real anger and possibly even hate coming to the surface. I knew I had to do something because it is such a horrible feeling to feel this way about your own child. I am praying for you Hope, Barbara, Paula, and Libby. My sincere hope is one day this horrible disease will be brought under control. Until then, I Pray!
Good for you, Penny. I, too, find much peace in the AlAnon literature, and Courage to Change is my favorite. Addiction can trigger anger and hate and even rage. We’ll pray together. Stay strong. Love you.