A mother wrote to me: My son died of a heroin overdose. I need to forgive myself for all the mistakes I made. I try to understand why he couldn’t just stop what he was doing to himself. It isn’t as simple as people want to make it. I live with the pain of not being able to help my son when he needed it, but I get up everyday and try to live my life the best I know how. I still feel that I hide from so many people who can’t understand what it was like to live with a son I loved and couldn’t help before it was too late.
My reflection: We live with the pain of not being able to help our loved one. My son once said, “I wanted to get clean and I loved my family, but I couldn’t go the next day without drugs.” Drugs are stronger than we are strong.
Today’s Promise to consider: We try desperately to do the right thing for our addicted loved ones, whatever that means in our particular circumstance. Sometimes mistakes are made. Today, I will forgive myself. I will go forward, one step at a time and accept that there are no clear answers with addiction.
“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.” Maya Angelou Even if you could go back and fix every perceived mistake, it would not defeat Addiction. Addiction would simply change direction and the same results would be experienced.
Thank you. I needed to hear this today.
Pat, Yes, yes, yes. What a wise way to look addiction. You’re right – addiction is smart and cunning. It would change directions. Thank you.
I have always heard in Alanon there is no such thing as right or wrong. I try hard to keep this in mind. We do the best we can with what we have. God bless
Dear Karen, You’re right. We do the best we can, and then we pray. Love to you.
Thank you, I lost my son the same way, and I have felt like I could have done more, I miss him every day.
Dearest Laurie, I’m deeply sorry. You’ve suffered the ultimate pain. God bless you and your son.
I have a friend who is a doctor( license recently suspended) When he was high he use to call me telling me he was dying…or call weeping. My heart would break. He is now with a female who is also an addict. They enable each other…I tried to help him in ways I thought were best..but actually may have made things worse. Last time I saw him he showed me his arm and leg full of tracks…almost like he was punishing me or so it seemed. I told him God loves him…Now he never reaches out or responds to me…he is in a hole with her and heroin. I can only pray and hope.
I understand. Until the addicted person is ready to get help, there is little we can do. You tried your best. With my son, I had to learn how to stay out of the chaos. I join you in prayer and hope.