Faith Archives - Page 9 of 11

May 15, 2014

LIVING IN FEAR NO MORE

by libbycataldi under Acceptance, Faith, Hope, Stay Close

A mother wrote to me: I’m afraid and I’m giving up. Recovery was going well, I thought. Making meetings, new job he likes, nice girlfriend…I was beginning to trust and hope. In the last week, money taken from my purse, relapse, violation of probation. Now it’s back to court and maybe prison this time. I can’t do this again.

My reflection: Hope is fragile and fear is powerful. I wonder why fear seems to be stronger than hope? I don’t know, but I do know that there were times when I felt like giving up on prayer and giving into fear. When addiction rises up again and again, knocking us to the ground, we feel crushed and confused. But if we lose faith and hope, all is lost. We need to stay close to our children, but our children need to fight their own battles.

Today’s Promise: I am only human and sometimes I feel as though I can’t go on. But I will and I’ll go on in hope. I refuse to sacrifice my life at the altar of fear.

“We can’t be armor for our children. We can only be supporting troops.” Irwin Shaw

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May 8, 2014

TWENTY-SEVEN MONTHS

by libbycataldi under Faith, Gratitude, Recovery, Service

A recovering addict wrote to me:
27 months.
Upward, outward.
Freedom, Choices.
Autonomy.
The miracle of contented sobriety.
From the fiery wreckage of one life, the sprigs of a new life emerge…
for me, for my family, and for those around me.
Hope is available through God-dependence and service to others.

My reflection: This young man’s words are full of promise and gratitude. His chains of addiction now broken, his life is an example of sobriety in action. This is powerful and reminds those of us who love addicts that a sober life is indeed possible.

Today’s Promise to consider: When we feel desperate, at our wits-end, and ready to give up, let us remember that where there is life there is hope. For today, I’ll hold on to this recovering addict’s words, “From the fiery wreckage of one life, the sprigs of a new life emerge…Hope is available through God-dependence and service to others.”

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Apr 24, 2014

REBIRTH IN RECOVERY: A LITTLE LIKE EASTER

by libbycataldi under Faith, family, Gratitude, Hope, Recovery

Jeff and Jeremy, 1982

A mom wrote to me: My daughter’s addiction was without doubt the darkest time in my life. She was not dead, but she may as well have been; the loving, beautiful, tender-hearted girl I’d raised and loved was lost to me. Thanks to the Grace of God, Al-Anon, and more than a few very wise counselors, I was able to get out of her way and wait patiently and hopefully – often fearfully – for a change. Now in our eighth year of recovery, every morning feels a little like Easter to me. It’s vital for those of us who have experienced this special kind of rebirth, even for short periods of time, to serve as a witness of hope to others who are in that desperate and dark place.

My reflection: Rebirth, that time when our addicted loved ones come back to themselves and to us, can happen. Everyday, I give thanks that Jeff came home, most importantly to himself. Everyday, I am grateful that we have him for one more day. Everyday, I pray that he continues to make good choices.

Today’s Promise to consider: Addiction’s lair is filled with stories of both victory and of deep loss. I acknowledge there are no guarantees for sobriety, but I am grateful today for my son’s health. My sons and I celebrate all those who have found their way out of the grips of addiction. It’s a journey of courage and rebirth.

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Apr 10, 2014

EXCERPTS FROM HENRI NOUWEN, PART 3: FROM RESENTMENT TO GRATITUDE

by libbycataldi under Faith, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Hope, Recovery, Resentments

Woman Dancing (1809-1812) by Antonio Canova

Henri Nouwen, a Dutch-born Catholic priest and theologian, wrote, I once saw a stonecutter remove great pieces from a huge rock on which he was working. In my imagination I thought, That rock must be hurting terribly. Why does his man wound the rock so much? But as I looked longer, I saw the figure of a graceful dancer emerge gradually from the stone. (Turn My Mourning into Dancing)

My reflection: There were times in my life when I looked toward the heavens, screaming and beseeching God to stop my problems. I knew the saying, “God only gives us what we can handle,” and I had had enough. I felt pummeled and couldn’t understand why God thought I should be the grateful recipient of so much grief. Now, I better understand that everything in my life (both good and bad) provided a chance to learn and grow.

Today’s Promise to consider: Most of us want life to be easy, enjoyable and comfortable; however, today I acknowledge that the difficult times are what make us into the person we are. Like a sculptor chipping away at marble, the best version of me is underneath many layers.

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Mar 13, 2014

LET GO AND LET GOD

by libbycataldi under Acceptance, Communication, Faith

Photo credit: Ando Pndlian

A mom wrote to me, Even without the drug problem in my life, I have to let go of and accept that my son has to go on and have his own life. I have to let him make his own decisions and mistakes, but it’s hard to stay out of his way. I’m right in the heart of learning to “Let go and let God.” Wanting to control is natural, but I know when I can finally surrender my life that it will take a big weight off my heart and I can begin to live a life of just loving everything and everybody around me.

My reflection: Much of what I learned through addiction can be applied to everyday life. When Jeff was drug sick, I wanted nothing more than to force him to stop. But I learned in Al-Anon, with professional help and through education that controlling an addiction is impossible. “Let go and let God” became my mantra.

Today’s Promise to consider: Today, I admit that I cannot control anyone other than myself. Today, I accept that my loved ones have to live their own lives and make their own mistakes. Standing back is difficult, almost impossible at times, but today I surrender my will and pray for their good decisions. God is in charge, not me.

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Feb 20, 2014

PATIENCE & FAITH

by libbycataldi under Communication, Faith, Jeff

A recovering addict told me, Cleaning drugs and alcohol from the body is one point on the long road of sobriety. True recovery is about walking the walk and handling obstacles with patience and faith.

My reflection: Life for addicts and for those of us who love them is not easy. Challenges confront us daily and the addict must be dedicated to fighting the good fight for themselves and with their Higher Power. As family members and loved ones, we learn how to support them from a distance and to keep hope alive.

Today’s Promise: The goal of walking the walk and handling obstacles with patience and faith is a goal for all of us, whether we are recovering addicts or not. The question is not if we will face obstacles and problems, but how will we face them. Whether it feels like it or not, I believe God is always with us. The ability to handle problems with patience and faith is my daily prayer.

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Feb 13, 2014

ON A PARENT’S PAIN

by libbycataldi under Dr. Patrick MacAfee, Faith, family, Hope, Stay Close

Dr. MacAfee talks about a parent’s pain when confronting addiction: Parents are often as trapped inside the addiction as are their children. They ask me, “Where is my son? Where is my daughter?” They know their child is under the drugs, but the child is lost to them.

You can hear the pain in these parents’ words:

I’m trying to remember who we were before this thing called addiction pushed in our door, flooded our house and left us homeless.

Addiction took our beloved son making him only a ghost of who he was. We could see his changes, but not our own. My anger turned to hatred and the shame of this kept me silent.

My reflection: I was like these parents, living in confusion, trying to find a way out of addiction’s grasp and not knowing where to turn. Just as addiction had Jeff by the throat, it had me. I knew Jeff was under the drugs, but I didn’t know how to free him.

Today’s Promise to consider: Only we, as parents, can free ourselves from the claws of addiction. Today, I’ll reach out for help, go to an Al-Anon meeting or talk with someone who understands. I’ll pray and trust that in time this soul-crushing heaviness will be relieved. I will take addiction out of the shadows and into the light.

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Jan 30, 2014

FROM TRAPPED TO LIBERATED

by libbycataldi under Dr. Patrick MacAfee, Faith, family, Gratitude, Hope, Relapse

Dr. MacAfee on the addict’s liberation, “Drug use traps the addict in a place of hopelessness. But when the lie of maintaining the addiction becomes more painful than the using, the addict faces himself and his use. It is this inescapable accountability that is both powerful and hopeful when he comes face-to-face with his reality. This incomprehensible demoralization is the dark before the dawn, the place where the addict chooses between life and death – the place where he can liberate himself.”

My reflection: When Dr. MacAfee and I discussed this topic, it was difficult for me because I relived our own family’s history of trauma, that time when Jeff was so sick he had to choose whether he would live or die. As his mother, I was powerless. I could do nothing. What a painful place to be! In the end, I surrendered, stayed close and prayed that Jeff would live. And I’m forever grateful that he did.

Today’s Promise to consider: Liberation for the addict comes when he says to himself, “I’m trapped and I’m never going to be able to use without dire consequences. I loathe what addiction has done to my life. I have no choice but to change.” Only the addict can free himself. I’ll pray.

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Jan 16, 2014

WE ARE NOT ALONE

by libbycataldi under Communication, Faith, family

A mother wrote: When we learned seven months ago that our beautiful, nineteen year-old son was addicted to heroin, I remember praying and searching for other parents who would truly understand. All I really wanted was to talk with another parent – especially a mother – who could really understand the brokenness in that special bond between a son and mother. Al-Anon meetings helped, and our good God led me to a meeting made up mostly of parents of addicted children.

My reflection: Addiction suffocates us. We see that we are losing our child and we don’t know what to do. We want to command the addiction to go away, order it into the pit of the earth where it belongs. But we soon realize that we are powerless in the face of addiction. What to do?

After an Al-Anon meeting, I wrote, “I found a peace that has eluded me. I’m truly amazed that my soul quieted there, in the basement of a church. I heard such pain from others, and I listened intently to how they are struggling to survive. Maybe I can find strength and comfort in Al-Anon, and ultimately in myself.”

Today’s Promise: I will open my spirit and reach out a hand to other parents of addicted children. In our solidarity, we find strength. It takes courage to reach out, but I am not alone.

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Jan 9, 2014

MONKEY MIND

by libbycataldi under Faith, family, Recovery

Jeff and I were talking about “monkey mind,” a Buddhist term meaning, “unsettled, restless, confused.” It is when our minds become chaotic as our thoughts jump from problem to problem.

This journal entry, written ten years ago, is an example of my unsettled mind: I’m not doing well. In fact, my heart feels torn into pieces. It’s 4:24 am, and sleep is not my friend tonight. My mind races with all my problems and I ache for someone to make them all go away. Pretty unrealistic, huh? I need to find my own peace. Dear Lord, I am so confused and I feel all alone. What do I do?

My reflection: For me, fear has always been an especially noisy monkey. The demons seemed to come out at night and torment me. In the dark, as I lay alone, I felt totally helpless and confused. My mind raced with imaginings of all the things that could go wrong. I had to find strength in myself and in my God, my higher power.

Today’s Promise to consider: I’m deeply grateful Jeff is good today, but I also acknowledge that monkey mind still continues to afflict me often during the night and sometimes during the day. Today, I will make an active effort to do something constructive when the demons find me. I’ll write or run. I will meditate. I will pray.

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