LISTENING WITHOUT JUDGING

A mom wrote to me: I know we are not alone, but I almost avoided a gathering at my mother’s house with some dear neighborhood friends because I didn’t want to be asked how my sons were doing and have to pretend all is well. My dad has passed and his dearest friend asked me how I was doing with my boys. I answered honestly, “Not the best.” He replied with kindness, “I’m sorry. I see you are struggling.” He understood and didn’t judge me. I am blessed to have shared a few minutes with him. 

My personal reaction to the passage above: The Big Book of AA says that addiction can only be defeated through rigorous honesty. There were many times I lied about my son’s addiction and our family problems. After many years and many failed attempts, I finally decided to respond honestly.

Today’s Promise to consider: Today I will listen to others without judging. I will respect their right to respond with truth and I will be there for them, just as others were there for me.

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Barbara
Barbara
10 years ago

I like today’s promise to consider – to listen to people without judging. If only everyone in the world could do this (not judge people). It would be an almost perfect world, wouldn’t it?

Pat Nichols
Pat Nichols
10 years ago

Yes Barbara it would!

Great post Libbby and Happy New Year to all.

Jane
Jane
10 years ago

I really like this post too Libby, as I can remember how I tried to avoid people asking me about my son too. I avoided social situations, I hated family reunions etc. I felt so cheated and disappointed, not to mention ashamed. I starting getting better when I got honest. I try to listen to others without judging now.I appreciate those who can listen to me without saying much except to show support.
Happy New Year to all of you. I pray for a better 2012 for all of us.
Jane

Rickie
Rickie
10 years ago

What a great way to end 2011 & begin 2012…NO JUDGING just Listen! I so very much agree with the others above!

Libby Cataldi
Libby Cataldi
10 years ago

Thanks to you all for your constant support today and throughout the year. Thanks for your trust, compassion and hope. Together we help each other to get through another day. We learn together.

Best wishes for a blessed and serene New Year! With love and respect,
L

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Traci
Traci
10 years ago

At one point I had gotten to where I was honest snd open. Partly because I wanted to educate people. Here lately though, I have shut down. I guess because of the turn of events, I’m too emotional. In time I hope to again open up.

Rickie
Rickie
10 years ago

Stay strong,I realize its words easily said but not always easy to follow perhaps knowing someone just prayed for you will somehow in a small way help! I pray for your (& my own) emotional roller-coaster to ease as we all struggle to cope/survive each day. I am in no position to help but knowing there are others on here willing to share has helped me in my own struggle to deal with my child’s addiction.

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[…] Libby Cataldi, author of Stay Close talks about a mother’s journey with her son’s addiction. […]