Faith Archives - Page 6 of 11

Dec 10, 2015

MY FIGHT SONG

by libbycataldi under Courage, Faith, family, Recovery

Rachel Platten sings Fight Song and the lyrics remind me of something a friend wrote to me: One time during my career I was feeling like there was no hope. Just then a fellow employee told me a few words that I have never forgotten and I apply them to all aspects of my life, “It’s never over unless you quit.”

My reflection: Fight Song and the words from my friend, “It’s never over unless you quit,” blend together with something my dad once told me. When Jeff was embroiled in his addiction, I asked my father, “When can I quit worrying? When he’s 18, when he’s 21? When, Dad?” His response was clear, “When you’re a parent, there is no quit.”

Today’s Promise to consider: Life can be difficult and addiction can be suffocating, but “It’s never over unless you quit.” The lyrics of Fight Song speak to our need to be strong for ourselves and those we love.

This is my fight song

Take back my life song…

And I don’t really care if nobody else believes

‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

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Dec 3, 2015

THE IMPORTANCE OF HOPE

by libbycataldi under Faith, Hope, Relapse, Stay Close

A mother wrote to me: I’m afraid. Recovery was going well, I thought. Making meetings, new job he likes, nice girlfriend…I was beginning to trust and hope. In the last week, money taken from my purse, relapse, violation of probation. Now it’s back to court and maybe prison this time. I’ve given up hope. I can’t do this again.

My reflection: There were many times when I, too, felt like giving up on hope and giving into fear. When Jeff’s addiction rose up again and again, the pain was overwhelming and I felt suffocated. I didn’t know what to do.

Today’s Promise to consider: Hope can be fragile and fear can be powerful. But if we lose faith and hope, we lose our oxygen. Today, I’ll stay close to my loved one and allow him to fight his own battles. I’ll keep hope alive – for him and for me.

“We can’t be armor for our children. We can only be supporting troops.” Irwin Shaw

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Nov 26, 2015

GRATITUDE: ONE DAY AT A TIME

by libbycataldi under Courage, Faith, family, Gratitude

A mother wrote to me: Today, I’m grateful. My son, who has been addicted for years, finally chose to turn his life around after he was shot in a drug deal. He still carries the bullet an inch from his spine, too risky to remove. He has ten months sober and is living in a sober house. It’s all such a blur to me now, but today he’s good. One day at a time.

My reflection: It’s easy to drown in the baffling chaos that is addiction, but gratitude can serve as an emotional life raft in the face of it. Even if this day is full of sorrow, gratitude helps me to identify the many positive things in my life – as simple as some of them might be.

Today’s Promise to consider: Today, Jeff is good and our family is stronger for all we’ve suffered through. I would never say that I’m grateful for addiction, but I am grateful for the lessons learned. Despite what pop culture tells us, happiness is something we work for and I must decide every day to work for it. Gratitude is the gateway. Our family wishes you a Happy Thanksgiving.

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Nov 5, 2015

IN HONOR OF THEIR JOURNEY

by libbycataldi under Abstinence, Courage, Faith, family, Gratitude, Hope, Recovery

When you meet a clean drug addict

You meet a hero.

Their mortal enemy slumbers within them:

They can never outrun their disability.

They make their way through a world of drug abuse,

In an environment that does not understand them.

Society, puffed up with shameful ignorance,

Looks on them with contempt,

As if they were a second-class citizen 

Because they dare to swim against the stream of drugs

 But you must know:

 No better people are made than this.

~Friedrich von Bodelschwingh 1831-1910

My reflection: Addicts are often considered second-class citizens, junkies, losers and scourges in the community. While it’s true that our loved ones in active addiction are not contributing to society, it’s also true that when they find the strength to live in sobriety, they return to life with a commitment to service, to help others and to make a difference.

Today’s Promise to consider: It takes courage for someone addicted to drugs to pick himself up and to change his life. It takes strength for him to live a life of abstinence. It takes grace for him to serve others and to give back. Today, when I meet a person in recovery, I’ll tip my hat in honor of his journey.

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Oct 15, 2015

WHY MY KID?

by libbycataldi under Acceptance, Courage, Faith, family, Stay Close

Photo credit: Mikele Roselli-Cecconi

A mother wrote to me: My husband and I were always here with our kids, but it seems to me that lots of kids who were on their own did better. Many of our neighborhood children grew up with our kids, and they all very successful. How did mine turn out to be an addict?

My reflection: This is a question I asked myself for years. I have two sons: one is addicted to heroin and the other isn’t. The kids in the neighborhood seemed to turn out OK. Why my son? What did I miss? What could I have done differently? Many parents ask themselves these same questions.

Today’s Promise to consider: Today, I accept the validity of all my diverse feelings. I refuse to hide my confusion, isolate myself, and keep the secret and the shame. I hate the addiction, but I will release myself from feeling that I failed my son. I did my best and there is no blame.

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Oct 8, 2015

WILL POWER VS SPIRITUAL AWAKENING

by libbycataldi under Dr. Patrick MacAfee, Faith, Recovery

Grandchild Iysa

A friend asked me, Is sobriety a result of will power or spiritual awakening? He continued, some people are said to have found sobriety through will power. They simply stop using drugs. In the Big Book, however, the thought is that sobriety is the result of a spiritual awakening.

My reflection: I asked Dr. MacAfee, who said, A lot of people go cold turkey, but this strategy rarely works over the long term. The disease of addiction is rooted in emptiness and cold turkey doesn’t fill the void within. A spiritual awakening is about belonging, finding our place in the world and connecting with the life-giving spirit inside us.

Today’s Promise to consider: Many experts believe that addiction is rooted in emptiness – in discontentment, not belonging and in disconnection. Cold turkey and will power are commendable, but they’re often not recipes for sustained sobriety and a holistic life. I pray that my loved will learn to fill the emptiness inside him in an environment of love and camaraderie. I pray that he finds a sense of belonging to the universal energy that’s within all of us.

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Sep 17, 2015

THERE’S LIFE AFTER ADDICTION

by libbycataldi under Courage, Faith, family, Gratitude, Recovery

Niece Iysa and Uncle Jeff.

Honoring Achievements: Jeff was in active addiction for fourteen years. It was impossible to see a future for our family that was healthy and complete. I was mired in confusion and Jeff was slowly destroying himself. This week, I’m reminded of how very much our lives have changed as Jeff celebrates the fifth anniversary of his music label Cascine. Our family honors this milestone alongside Jeff.

My reflection: When in the throes of active addiction, life – for both the addict and the family – becomes a struggle for health and survival. Things often change dramatically when sobriety enters the picture. Reminders are all around us, when we stop and look for them.

Today’s Promise to consider: It’s imperative to never give up hope with our addicted loved ones. There are many success stories of people who have survived an addiction and come home to themselves and their families. Jeff is one of the lucky ones. Today and every day, we’re grateful.

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Sep 3, 2015

COMPASSION

by libbycataldi under Courage, Dialogue, Dr. Patrick MacAfee, Faith, Recovery

Photo Credit: Mikele Roselli Cecconi

A mother wrote to me: Today I went to my first Al-Anon meeting or at least that is what I thought I was going to. Instead it was the Narc meeting for the users. So instead of hearing from family members about their loved one’s addictions, I heard from the addicts themselves. It was very eye opening and humbling to be there and to hear their struggles.

My reflection: During the many years that Jeff was swallowed by addiction, I never realized the pain that he felt. Dr. MacAfee told me that it was impossible for me to imagine how poorly my son saw himself, that living inside his skin was more than Jeff could bear at times. The heaviness of his reality, combined with all the lies he struggled to maintain, was soul crushing.

Today’s Promise to consider: It’s so very hard not to make our loved one’s addiction about us, not to take their continued missteps personally. Once I told my son, “You have a lot of courage to try to get well again.” He responded quietly, “Courage. That’s a word rarely used with addicts. Yeah, it takes courage.” As a mom, my pain is huge, but I must understand that I will never truly grasp what he is going through. Today, I will pray for strength and compassion.

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Aug 20, 2015

I AM A WORK IN PROGRESS

by libbycataldi under Courage, Faith, family, meditation

Photo credit: Mikele Roselli-Cecconi

A mom wrote to me: My son is still on the streets and I don’t know from one day to the next what will happen to him, but I survive by working my steps, having a sponsor, reading my books and calling people on the phone list. Most important of all, I try every day, all day, to put God first in my life and, in doing this, I have been able to Let Go and Let God. I’ll be a work in progress until the day I die.

My reflection: I join this mom in being a work in progress. Whether my son is struggling with his demons or not, I also try to live by the mantra Let Go and Let God. When I truly acknowledge the fact that I am not in control of others or their choices, I am able to live one step closer to peace.

Today’s Promise to consider: My mom once told me, It takes a lifetime to learn how to live. Today, I will pray for humility and for my Higher Power to direct my path.

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Aug 13, 2015

HIC ET NUNC: HERE AND NOW

by libbycataldi under Courage, Faith, Resentments, Service, Stay Close

Son Jeremy, Granddaughter Iysa, Libby, son Jeff

An Italian friend wrote to me: For six months now, two or three days a week, my mother goes to my brother’s recovery community and helps the girls design and make bags. In this way, my mother has the possibility to ‘stay close’ to my brother without ‘staying attached’ to him. When she works on the bags, it feels like all the suffering was not so important: we live “Hic et Nunc”, Here and Now. We are able to joke, smile, laugh, cry, be happy and above all be HIC et NUNC! How many times I’ve prayed to be able to live ‘here and now’ and not think about all the ifs, buts and whys. My family has found the possibility to grow in spite of sorrow. We are understanding how to stay close without being dependent.

My reflection: When Jeff was in active addiction, living in the present seemed impossible – my mind was a constant wash of regrets, past hurts and disasters yet to come. This didn’t serve me well and it didn’t serve our family. Jeff’s 14-year addiction is teaching me how to live “Hic ed Nunc” – to be mindful of the moments, the little victories. When I’m able to live in the present and without the ifs, buts and whys, life is more steady.

Today’s Promise to consider: Today, I will live ‘Hic et Nunc,’ the Latin term for ‘here and now.’ I will let go of yesterday’s sufferings, and I won’t obsess over the future. I will work toward staying close without staying attached. I will be grateful for the moments.

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