Recovery Archives - Page 10 of 20

Dec 10, 2015

MY FIGHT SONG

by libbycataldi under Courage, Faith, family, Recovery

Rachel Platten sings Fight Song and the lyrics remind me of something a friend wrote to me: One time during my career I was feeling like there was no hope. Just then a fellow employee told me a few words that I have never forgotten and I apply them to all aspects of my life, “It’s never over unless you quit.”

My reflection: Fight Song and the words from my friend, “It’s never over unless you quit,” blend together with something my dad once told me. When Jeff was embroiled in his addiction, I asked my father, “When can I quit worrying? When he’s 18, when he’s 21? When, Dad?” His response was clear, “When you’re a parent, there is no quit.”

Today’s Promise to consider: Life can be difficult and addiction can be suffocating, but “It’s never over unless you quit.” The lyrics of Fight Song speak to our need to be strong for ourselves and those we love.

This is my fight song

Take back my life song…

And I don’t really care if nobody else believes

‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

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Nov 5, 2015

IN HONOR OF THEIR JOURNEY

by libbycataldi under Abstinence, Courage, Faith, family, Gratitude, Hope, Recovery

When you meet a clean drug addict

You meet a hero.

Their mortal enemy slumbers within them:

They can never outrun their disability.

They make their way through a world of drug abuse,

In an environment that does not understand them.

Society, puffed up with shameful ignorance,

Looks on them with contempt,

As if they were a second-class citizen 

Because they dare to swim against the stream of drugs

 But you must know:

 No better people are made than this.

~Friedrich von Bodelschwingh 1831-1910

My reflection: Addicts are often considered second-class citizens, junkies, losers and scourges in the community. While it’s true that our loved ones in active addiction are not contributing to society, it’s also true that when they find the strength to live in sobriety, they return to life with a commitment to service, to help others and to make a difference.

Today’s Promise to consider: It takes courage for someone addicted to drugs to pick himself up and to change his life. It takes strength for him to live a life of abstinence. It takes grace for him to serve others and to give back. Today, when I meet a person in recovery, I’ll tip my hat in honor of his journey.

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Oct 8, 2015

WILL POWER VS SPIRITUAL AWAKENING

by libbycataldi under Dr. Patrick MacAfee, Faith, Recovery

Grandchild Iysa

A friend asked me, Is sobriety a result of will power or spiritual awakening? He continued, some people are said to have found sobriety through will power. They simply stop using drugs. In the Big Book, however, the thought is that sobriety is the result of a spiritual awakening.

My reflection: I asked Dr. MacAfee, who said, A lot of people go cold turkey, but this strategy rarely works over the long term. The disease of addiction is rooted in emptiness and cold turkey doesn’t fill the void within. A spiritual awakening is about belonging, finding our place in the world and connecting with the life-giving spirit inside us.

Today’s Promise to consider: Many experts believe that addiction is rooted in emptiness – in discontentment, not belonging and in disconnection. Cold turkey and will power are commendable, but they’re often not recipes for sustained sobriety and a holistic life. I pray that my loved will learn to fill the emptiness inside him in an environment of love and camaraderie. I pray that he finds a sense of belonging to the universal energy that’s within all of us.

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Oct 1, 2015

I WAS BLESSED WITH THE GIFT OF DESPERATION

by libbycataldi under Courage, family, Hope, Recovery, Service

Photo credit: Mikele Roselli-Cecconi

A recovering addict wrote, Things couldn’t be better for me. I’m almost nine months sober, very active in a 12-step program and working at Apple. Life is drama free and I’m keeping things as simple as possible. No sex and relationships for a year! I volunteer to be of service, and I even pray and meditate daily – most days that is. Life has finally smoothed out. No more daily pain and depression. I’m involved and present with my family and loved ones. I’m well, content! Can you believe it?? It took long enough! But I was blessed with the gift of desperation…finally! And I was ready for change. So here I am!

My reflection: This young man’s renewed enthusiasm for life is inspiring. He wrote that he was blessed with the gift of desperation which is something The Big Book of AA points to as a profound turning point in many lives. The desperation of drowning in pain caused by active addiction is a powerful force and provided him the willingness to make some crucial changes.

Today’s Promise to consider: Addicts are not the only ones who are blessed with the gift of desperation. When my son was at his worst, I, too, was desperate, and it was at that moment that I learned to surrender. Today, I pray that all our loved ones, who are suffering with addiction, will be gifted with the strength to start on the road to a healthy life. And I pray for all of us, who love them, for our peace.

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Sep 17, 2015

THERE’S LIFE AFTER ADDICTION

by libbycataldi under Courage, Faith, family, Gratitude, Recovery

Niece Iysa and Uncle Jeff.

Honoring Achievements: Jeff was in active addiction for fourteen years. It was impossible to see a future for our family that was healthy and complete. I was mired in confusion and Jeff was slowly destroying himself. This week, I’m reminded of how very much our lives have changed as Jeff celebrates the fifth anniversary of his music label Cascine. Our family honors this milestone alongside Jeff.

My reflection: When in the throes of active addiction, life – for both the addict and the family – becomes a struggle for health and survival. Things often change dramatically when sobriety enters the picture. Reminders are all around us, when we stop and look for them.

Today’s Promise to consider: It’s imperative to never give up hope with our addicted loved ones. There are many success stories of people who have survived an addiction and come home to themselves and their families. Jeff is one of the lucky ones. Today and every day, we’re grateful.

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Sep 3, 2015

COMPASSION

by libbycataldi under Courage, Dialogue, Dr. Patrick MacAfee, Faith, Recovery

Photo Credit: Mikele Roselli Cecconi

A mother wrote to me: Today I went to my first Al-Anon meeting or at least that is what I thought I was going to. Instead it was the Narc meeting for the users. So instead of hearing from family members about their loved one’s addictions, I heard from the addicts themselves. It was very eye opening and humbling to be there and to hear their struggles.

My reflection: During the many years that Jeff was swallowed by addiction, I never realized the pain that he felt. Dr. MacAfee told me that it was impossible for me to imagine how poorly my son saw himself, that living inside his skin was more than Jeff could bear at times. The heaviness of his reality, combined with all the lies he struggled to maintain, was soul crushing.

Today’s Promise to consider: It’s so very hard not to make our loved one’s addiction about us, not to take their continued missteps personally. Once I told my son, “You have a lot of courage to try to get well again.” He responded quietly, “Courage. That’s a word rarely used with addicts. Yeah, it takes courage.” As a mom, my pain is huge, but I must understand that I will never truly grasp what he is going through. Today, I will pray for strength and compassion.

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Aug 6, 2015

BRINGING ADDICTION INTO THE LIGHT

by libbycataldi under Communication, Courage, Dialogue, Dr. Patrick MacAfee, Recovery

Photo credit: Mikele Roselli-Cecconi

A mother wrote to me: My son is homeless. I will not allow him to live at home as long as he is using. I asked him what his plan was and I explained that it was hard for me to tell him he couldn’t stay with me. Normally he would have yelled at me, slammed doors and walked out mad, but he didn’t this time. I saw something different in his face that made me think that he was finally seeing that his problem was bigger than he had thought. I pray he chooses a different life, but I know that he must choose.

My reflection: Dr. MacAfee wrote, Complaining, threatening, forcing and handwringing rarely, if ever, succeed. Instead, such approaches tend to drive the condition underground. Defensiveness must be lowered and communication must be clearer.

Today’s Promise to consider: Addiction is cloaked with heavy blankets of shame. Today, I will recommit to fostering an honest, compassionate environment with firm boundaries in place. I pray my child will choose to bring his addiction into the light where we can address it, for his life and for his health. Only he can make this choice.

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Jul 16, 2015

LETTING GO OF THE PAST

by libbycataldi under Hope, Recovery, Stay Close

Jeff said to me, I read a passage this morning about how we are often slaves to our conditioning – events of the past, boxes society creates for us, people’s expectations and past hurts. Our minds recreate those stories constantly and lay them overtop of our current lives, typically without us realizing it.

My reflection: This thought of recreating our past or expecting the same story to happen again resonates with me. For years after Jeff’s recovery, I was looking for the lies to reoccur, examining his eyes for any indication of relapse and trying to gird myself for what might happen. Instead of enjoying the healthy moments with him, I often carried the old stories and hurts forward.

Today’s Promise to consider: The past is the past, and although it invariably shapes us, we need to learn from it and let go of it. Carrying former hurts on our backs like a turtle carries his shell helps no one. Today, I will not live in fear that the past might reoccur. I won’t waste precious time with my loved one.

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Jul 2, 2015

NO VOLUNTEERS IN HEARTBREAK

by libbycataldi under Dr. Patrick MacAfee, family, Recovery, Resentments

Dr MacAfee told me: Parents need to know that their suffering is legitimate and the result of loving their child. I have heard dismissive and searingly hateful comments thrown at parents that they are victims of their own suffering. The stories of addiction are heart wrenching: murders, fatal overdoses and debilitating consequences. There are no volunteers to these heartbreaks. No one would sign up for these experiences.

My reflection: Nobody welcomes addiction into her home, but it happens. I didn’t volunteer for a 14-year journey of addiction, but the heartbreak deepened as I loved my son while he descended into the world of drugs.

Today’s Promise to consider: There are no volunteers in addiction. There are no volunteers to the heartbreak and suffering that addiction heaps on us. We simply love our addicted child or spouse or parent. When we love another person, we open ourselves to pain, as well as to joy.

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May 28, 2015

ALL LIVES ARE WORTH SAVING

by libbycataldi under Courage, Recovery, Relapse, Stay Close

A nurse friend from the Cleveland Clinic sent me this article: One Heart Surgeon’s Story of Helping a Drug Addict Find Hope in which Gösta Pettersson, MD, PhD, wrote about his 27-year-old, heroin-addicted patient. Everyone was convinced she would die. So often we meet patients like this and are perhaps tempted to dismiss them because of an apparent personal failure like drug abuse. We don’t really understand what they’re going through. We see their physical suffering, but it’s actually only a small fraction of what they endure. He operated on this young girl’s heart and she is, today, six months sober. He ends by saying, My patient’s drug addiction will be a lifelong battle – but ‘so worth living to fight it,’ she tells me. She knows now that because her life was worth saving, it is also worth living.

Today’s Promise to consider: Lives are worth saving – all lives, even drug-addicted lives. This cardiovascular surgeon saved a young, heroin addict’s life through both medical and emotional care. Addiction wants to suffocate and end lives – and not all lives can be saved – but where there is life there is hope.

Dr. Pettersson is Vice Chairman of the Department of Thoracic and Cardiovascular Surgery and Section Head of Congenital Heart Surgery at Cleveland Clinic. He contributed this article.

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