A person in recovery told me, Many people out there try to get clean and can’t. I know, certainly in my case, if this were about willpower, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Because when I set my mind to do something, it gets done. Not this. Not this. 

My reflection: When my son was in active addiction, I told him, Stop. Just stop. I, too, thought that it was a matter of resolve,  strength of character, or pure emotional muscle. It took me fourteen years to learn how wrong I was.

Today’s Promise to consider: If addiction were a matter of sheer willpower, we would have many fewer suffering people. There’s a reason Step One in AA is: We admitted we are powerless over our addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable. For our family, recovery was found when we acknowledged that willingness, as opposed to willpower, was the bridge to healing. Let us muster compassion for loved ones who are struggling, and let us support their efforts when they become WILLING to seek help.

The Washington Post reports that the surgical intervention, deep brain stimulation (already approved to treat epilepsy and Parkinson’s), has been used to treat drug addiction. Gerod Buckhalter allowed surgeons to cut two nickel-size holes in his skull and plunge metal-tipped electrodes into his brain. The electrodes produce electrical impulses that regulate the brain and affect the chemicals and reactions within the brain. “Buckhalter still requires anti-drug mediation, counseling, and Narcotics Anonymous meetings. He still experiences cravings, depression, and the anxiety that drove his drug use, but for more than 600 days after he underwent the experimental surgery, Buckhalter has not touched drugs again.”

My reaction: When my son was in active addiction, I searched for a ‘silver bullet’ to cure the disease. I wanted a pill, a person, something or someone to cure him. There was nothing. 

Today’s Promise to consider: Research is shedding light on the disease of addiction and identifying methods for curbing or stopping drug abuse. Deep Brain Stimulation might become a viable option in the future, but according to Ali Rezai, director of the Rockefeller Neuroscience Institute at West Virginia University, who performed Buckhalter’s surgery, “This is not a magical cure. And it’s not going to work for everybody. This is a treatment that allows you to dial down the anxiety, improve the mood, make people more in charge of their bodies, make them less fragile and susceptible.” For my son, recovery was a slow build as he worked the steps, developed a relationship with a higher power, and fellowshipped with others living in the solution. Medical treatments are increasingly effective, but I believe they must be paired with the painstaking process of working a program.

My son wrote this in Stay Close about getting and staying sober: I was terrified – faced with getting clean, again. With nothing but failed attempts to reference, sobriety seemed impossible. It’s easier to want to change your life than to actually do it. Following through takes total courage, and I was scared to my bones.

My reflection on the above passage: During the critical months when my son made the decision to change his life, he worked with Dr. MacAfee, an addiction therapist who was highly intuitive and knowledgeable. He explained to Jeff that, when the using stops, a period of grief would inevitably come, for all the lost time, the years gone by, the people hurt, and the trail of destruction. He said, “The grief will overtake you, and it will be hard. But it’s also a sweet time. Savor it.”

Today’s Promise to consider: Our suffering loved ones know the chaos of court systems and legal problems. They know how to lie, deceive, and manipulate in service of their disease. What they need to learn how to do is to live a transparent life – how to be honest and faithful, and how to find serenity. Today, I pray for all those suffering that they source the courage they need to confront the demon of addiction.