Faith Archives - Page 10 of 11

Jan 2, 2014

RESOLUTIONS: NOT JUST FOR THE NEW YEAR

by libbycataldi under Faith, Hope, Service

Jeff wrote, This is the first year that my New Year’s resolution was crystal clear: contribution. I need to do more for my community, to give back in bigger, more consistent ways – roll up my sleeves every week and offer my time and experiences to the people around me. The Big Book says, “To keep what we have, we need to give it away.”

My reflection: For years, I scoffed at making New Year’s resolutions. I felt silly resolving to do something I knew I would abandon after a few weeks. When Jeff told me his resolution, I thought I’d try again to resolve something because I, too, knew what I needed to do to be a better person. I will commit time each day to reading, praying and becoming more centered in myself and with my God.

Today’s Promise to consider: Even though I may not be a big believer in New Year’s resolutions, this year I will try. Jeff will contribute more to his community. I will grow stronger in my spirituality. Maybe we’ll all take some time to reflect on what is important to us. Happy New Year!

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Nov 21, 2013

STAYING IN GRATITUDE: PART 3

by libbycataldi under Dialogue, Faith, Gratitude

Henri Nouwen, Dutch philosopher and theologist, wrote in Here and Now, Joy is not the same as happiness. We can be unhappy about many things, but joy can still be there. Joy does not simply happen to us – it is a choice. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day. Each day, whatever may have happened, is a day to be grateful for.

My reflection: Nouwen says that joy and unhappiness can coexist. I used to think that one excluded the other and sometimes, especially in moments of deep trauma like Jeff’s addiction, I was overwhelmed with such great unhappiness that I didn’t allow joy a space in my life. Nouwen goes on to say that joy is a choice that is ours to make, regardless of what is happening in our daily lives. Although we might be unhappy in the moment, it does not need to extinguish our joy.

Today’s Promise to consider: Bad things happen to good people. At times, I might feel deeply unhappy, but I refuse to allow it to eliminate my joy. Today, I choose to stay in gratitude. All I have is today and I choose not to waste it.

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Oct 31, 2013

TWO PARENTS: ONE STORY, PART 5

by libbycataldi under Abstinence, Acceptance, Communication, Faith, family, meditation

Final in the series: Gratitude for the Journey of Addiction

A mom wrote, My son has been sober for almost two years. We are grateful for this victory, but I am also grateful for the difficult journey. I know this sounds crazy, but I would not have the relationship with my son that I have today if we had not traveled that long and challenging road together. It was not easy. At times, I thought I would fade away.

I am beginning to reclaim my life. And so is my son. It is not easy. For me, it means confronting a lot of grief, but I know I must go through this to be whole again.

Our son began his freshman year of college in August. So far so good. He is proclaiming his recovery in a mighty way. I know that the bumps may come, and I struggle with this; however, I am learning to let him live his own life.

A mom wrote, I remember the first time I was able to say honestly in an Al-Anon meeting that I was grateful for my son’s addiction, and I still today believe it with my whole heart. Although at times I am tempted to wish the dreams I had for my son (in this order: college, good job, marriage, children) had happened, I know that I wouldn’t trade the young man he is today for any “normal” 23 year old, who followed the “expected” path.

Today’s Promise to Consider: Thank you to all who share their stories of hope and strength. We join hands to bring addiction out of the darkness and into the light. We’ll keep reaching out to help another. We’ll stay in gratitude.

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Oct 24, 2013

ONE PARENT: ONE STORY, PART 4

by libbycataldi under Communication, Faith, family, Gratitude, Hope

Her son sent this photo during his morning shift at work

One Mother’s Story: An Angel in the Making

A treasured friend once said, “Addicts are angels in the making.” Six years ago I never would have believed that. Today I am watching a miracle unfold.

When my son was a senior in high school, I shrugged off his failing interest in class to senioritis. After all, he had been accepted into a major university honors program for that fall. So why worry?

Then one evening his favorite teacher phoned. My son’s friends were worried he was in the wrong crowd and smoking marijuana.

And so, the spiral began. An “innocent” experiment with marijuana erupted into a full blown addiction to prescription painkillers, heroin and other drugs. Freshman year he failed college and moved home. Working part-time and attending our local community college barely masked his growing sickness. Finally, faced with the choice of inpatient rehab or our turning him out on the streets, (where we got the courage to take that stand I’ll never know) he agreed to inpatient rehab.

Thirteen days into the program he was kicked out for using. Clearly, he wasn’t ready to stop. He agreed to another facility where he learned some coping skills. Next stop: a halfway house in Florida. It took another full year and a fresh, 105-day program before sobriety and recovery took hold.

As we know, addiction is a family disease. Once our son entered his first rehab program, a family therapist asked me, “Your son is getting treatment. What are you going to do for yourselves?” Al-Anon became our answer. I soon found a group with parents suffering the same anguish. My husband attended with me and we quickly became regulars.

Al Anon saved our lives – just as the 12-step program and his own spiritual awakening saved our son. Today, he’s been clean 21 months – a miracle considering where he was. Each day is cause for celebration. There are mornings I ooze gratitude. Our son is not just “clean.” He’s rebuilding his life. Active in his own home group, attending meetings regularly, he also sponsors others. He works two jobs and this semester is trying school again at a local community college.

But what’s best is having him back in our lives. We talk about addiction. We swap stories about our groups and our shared progress. He offers encouragement – to us!! And he offers to talk with anyone who is suffering.

Today, I am so grateful. And today is all we have.

Sometimes, when my son works the morning shift at his hotel, he texts me a picture of the sunrise over the ocean. I cry for the beauty he sees and for the man he is becoming. An angel in the making.

Today’s Promise to Consider: This is one mother’s story. We join together to share our experience, strength and hope. We bring addiction out of the darkness and share our truths.

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Oct 17, 2013

ONE PARENT: ONE STORY, Part 3

by libbycataldi under Faith, family, Recovery, Relapse, Stay Close

One mother’s story: The Chaos of Addiction

My sons are sober today and everyday I am grateful, but I remember well where my family was just four years ago. Both my sons were using heroin daily, the older one had just lost his job due to drug use and the younger one was on the verge of losing his. I was literally trying to keep everyone alive and out of jail. I had spent thousands of dollars on inpatient and outpatient treatments, hospitalizations, property damages, lawyers, therapists, “new starts,” apartments and cars.

At that time, our lives were never ending drug chaos. I was working full time and every day one or the other son was out of money, no gas to get to work or had left their uniform somewhere so they couldn’t go to work, not answering their phone which led me to believe they might have overdosed, lying all the time, screaming outbursts and calling me horrible names, pounding their fists on my car, trashing apartments with their drug buddies, getting arrested, pawn shops, creditors and lying some more.

At one point, my older son went into a local facility to detox, but had someone bring heroin to the facility. The mental health counselor told my son flat out, “I have been treating junkies for many years and you can’t beat this on your own.” Hearing him use that word was horrifying, but it was exactly what both my sons had become.

Life was one chaotic day after another. Looking back I don’t know how we survived. They both needed long-term treatment. When they were forced to face the consequences of their addiction, that’s what finally happened. I helped them find places to go, negotiate the paperwork and transportation and did whatever it took to get them there. Fortunately, they finally chose to change their lives. And they did.

Today’s Promise to Consider: This is one mother’s story. We join together to share our experience, strength and hope. We bring addiction out of the darkness and share our truths.

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Oct 10, 2013

ONE PARENT: ONE STORY, Part 2

by libbycataldi under Communication, Dialogue, Faith, Recovery, Relapse, Stay Close

One mother’s story:

It’s been a very rough week, but we’ve been down this road before – one too many times. We asked our son to move out. Two days ago he did. His disease is showing signs of progressing and it is damaging to others in this house. He is causing damage to my other son and I cannot stand by and watch this while he continues not to work a program we all feel he needs. We have given him so much support over the past decade and now it is time to say enough. I told him I loved him, but not the behaviors we have become aware of – a direct result of not truly working a program of RECOVERY. At twenty-eight, he needs to stand on his own. He needs to feel “The Gift of Desperation.” When nothing changes, nothing changes. That was the basis for our action.

I doubt myself at times There are no easy answers with this disease. We need to back off, detach with love, and let him be the captain of whatever kind of ship he wants to sail. I am not adjusting my sails anymore. I have my life vest on and I will not sink. He can choose his own course from this point. I am not going to be his GPS or map.

This disease forces us to make such difficult decisions, but I would be unable to do it without the support of my program of recovery. I always remember the saying not to deny an addict his pain.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Today’s Promise to Consider: This is one mother’s story. We join together to share our experience, strength and hope. We bring addiction out of the darkness and share our truths.

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Sep 26, 2013

PAY ATTENTION TO THE COINCIDENCES

by libbycataldi under Communication, Faith, Recovery

A mom wrote to me, Everyday I am reminded that there are too many random coincidences to ignore. You think you do something to help someone, but that is not the plan, at least not for now. In my case, it was a conversation over dinner where I said, “Oh, my neighbor went through an addiction with her son and she wrote a book about it.” This led to a random dad reading your book and gaining a sense of hope and realizing that what he is going through and feeling – others have been down this road as well. Amazing how God works.

My reflection: I am reminded of something that Jeff wrote, In 2005, when I was at the ranch and trying again to get clean, I fought everything, but most of all I fought the notion of something spiritual. But I couldn’t escape it. It was in everything attached to the program. I told my sponsor that the God thing would never make sense to me and I needed to find something else. He laughed and said simply, “I don’t give a damn what you believe – just pay attention to the coincidences.” So I did. And that’s when things changed.

Today’s Promise to consider: I believe that living things are interconnected. Today, I will be a witness to the flow of life. Whether I call this force God, my Higher Power, Being or the Universe, I will keep an open mind and pay attention to the coincidences.

“Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.” – Albert Einstein, The World as I See It

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Sep 5, 2013

THE STRUGGLE

by libbycataldi under Dr. Patrick MacAfee, Faith, Forgiveness, Recovery

Dr. MacAfee said, The struggle is part of the addict’s redemption. When the addict gets ‘sick and tired of being sick and tired,’ he realizes that he has pawned his life for the daily chase of dope or alcohol. In that moment of clarity, he acknowledges that life can be so much more, but he must be willing to change everything and fight for it. This can be an intense struggle, but the hard work allows him to redeem himself in order to fulfill life’s promise.

My reaction: We all fall down, some deeper than others. The path back to life, back to our hopes and dreams, is not easy. It is this time between the moment of clarity and the goal of living a renewed, fulfilled life that allows us precious time to learn critical lessons and grow in faith.

Today’s Promise: Today, I admit the mistakes I’ve made and I embrace the struggle before me. I won’t be discouraged by this realization, but I will accept the obstacles in my path. The addict has the opportunity to redeem himself in a life-affirming struggle. So do we all.

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Aug 22, 2013

GRATITUDE: THE GIFT OF DESPERATION

by libbycataldi under Faith, Gratitude, Jeff, Recovery

Jeff and I were talking about gratitude and he said, Early in my recovery, I was grateful to have had “the gift of desperation” – a state of total surrender and willingness to change at any cost. It happens as a result of hitting rock bottom and realizing true defeat. Most addicts will agree that this is one of the most profound moments in the recovery process.

My reaction: I had never heard of the Gift of Desperation, but it makes sense to me that in the state of desperation we can be most willing to change. When my life was in good shape (or even in moderately good shape), I wasn’t motivated to do anything differently; however, when my life spun into total chaos – when I hit rock bottom and admitted true defeat – I became ready to do whatever was necessary to change my life.

Today’s Promise to consider: The gift of desperation is always waiting for me, but I don’t have to get to this place in order to do something healthy for myself. Today, I will examine my life in an objective way and, if I need to make changes, I will.

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Jul 25, 2013

ON SUFFERING

by libbycataldi under Acceptance, Faith

A mom wrote to me: They taught me this in India: Whatever suffering you have and for whatever reason, stay with it and accept it for what it is without analyzing or trying to figure out why. Let it dissolve. Acknowledge that you are helpless and let go, knowing that you can control nothing and that God will take over. Love and accept yourself the way you are.

My response: This mom continued the above by writing, “Easier said than done, but worth practicing as much as possible.” Letting go of suffering takes practice, the passage of time and, for me, faith in my Higher Power.

Today’s Promise to consider: We all suffer. It’s part of life. It seems the more I rail against the pain, the more damage it does. Today, I will step back, pray, take care of myself and allow the suffering to wash over me. Like heavy storms, I can’t stop the rain, but I can take cover and pray, trusting that better days are ahead.

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