Hope Archives - Page 12 of 16

Nov 22, 2012

STARTING EACH DAY WITH GRATITUDE

by libbycataldi under Gratitude, Hope, Stay Close

Granddaughter Iysa loving life.

A dad wrote to me: My son overdosed at the age of seventeen. I was in the E.R. with him the entire time. No one knows the fears, the thoughts, the excruciating pain that someone in this position experiences, except those of us who have been there. From that horrific day onward, I have chosen to look at the glass half full. Every day my son is still here is a wonderful blessing. Sometimes we need to be reminded of what is truly important in our lives.

My reaction: When Jeff and Jeremy were young, we’d begin our Thanksgiving meal with a prayer and then each person would respond to the sentence starter, “Today I’m thankful for ….” Now I wonder why this was only a once-a-year routine. Maybe I should have asked this on a daily basis. Ray Haas, a dear friend and teacher at our school, once asked Dan Butler, our maintenance man, “How is your day, Mr. Butler?” Dan responded, “Mr. Haas, any day my feet hit the floor is a good day.” Mr. Butler had it right.

Today’s Promise to consider: I’ll remember what is truly important in my life, not just once a year and not just today, but every day. I’ll work to make it part of my daily routine. Every day will begin with a thanksgiving.

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Nov 8, 2012

REDISCOVERING BEAUTY

by libbycataldi under Abstinence, family, Hope, Recovery

A recovering alcoholic wrote to me: I just celebrated my three years of sobriety. What a day it was! My husband surprised me with a fabulous pair of very weathered, but beautifully hand-embroidered cowboy boots. I wear them almost every day (even if just while I’m making dinner!) in remembrance of the fact that something weathered by experience can indeed be beautiful again.

My reaction: The journey to sobriety is a hard-won victory, and I have great respect for those who have made this walk. Every day without alcohol or drugs is a success, and every month of living a drug-free life gives us hope. I learn from those who have traveled the road and fought to regain their life and freedom.

Today’s Promise to consider: Today, I reaffirm my faith that people can choose a better life, a different life, and a life of promise. I celebrate with all those who have found their sobriety, one day at a time. I, too, believe that something weathered by experience can indeed be beautiful again, and sometimes it can become even more beautiful than it was to begin with.

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Nov 1, 2012

HOPE IN THE FACE OF DESPAIR

by libbycataldi under Hope, meditation, Resentments

A mother wrote to me: I enjoy your weekly emails, but recently have begun to feel resentful and jealous of these inspirational stories. I guess that’s because after all these years, I feel powerless and hopeless. My hope has turned to fear and my love is turning to hate. I am financially and emotionally drained. My son has been to seven different rehabs and is currently in detox. He was sober for eighteen months while being monitored in a drug-court program, but started using again after he completed the program. I have no strength to go on. I am desperately seeking help, but no longer know where to turn.

My reaction: I thank this mother for writing because I, too, know this feeling of pain and resentment. I have felt my hope turning to fear and my love on the verge of despair. I have wondered why another family seemed to be doing well and mine didn’t. Why do some kids achieve and succeed while others don’t? Why is my son an addict when many of his friends are not? I’ve learned there are no answers. And when I stopped searching for them, I found peace.

Today’s Promise to consider: Bad things happen to good people. This is a hard, but undeniable fact of life. I acknowledge that my loved one and my family are in pain; however, even when faced with hardship, I’ll work hard to maintain hope. I’ll reach out my hand for support to Al-Anon and in prayer. As long as there is life, there is hope.

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Oct 18, 2012

VICTORY: ONE DAY AT A TIME, PART 4

by libbycataldi under Acceptance, Hope, Jeff, meditation, Recovery

A mom wrote to Jeff, Very interesting to hear you say that while your life is not perfect and everyday is challenging, you have a peace about it. I get this. While very different, sometimes I cannot believe how I have continued to move forward since my husband passed, how I can be at peace and even generally happy, how I have had to accept that what I thought would be my future with my best friend and the life that I envisioned…will not be. I can only attribute this attitude and “peace” to my spiritual relationship. Jeff, so glad you have found this.

My response: I want to write that I, too, have peace, but I still struggle. I believe that my spiritual core needs strengthened. I need to nurture it, be silent and pray more. As Mother Teresa says, “In the silence of the heart God speaks. It is only when you realize your emptiness that God can fill you with Himself. Souls of prayer are souls of great silence.”

Today’s Promise to consider: I will take ten minutes at the beginning of my day to be still and try to silence the noise in my head. I will open my heart to a feeling of peace. I will make this part of my morning routine.

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Oct 11, 2012

VICTORY: ONE DAY AT A TIME, PART 3

by libbycataldi under family, Hope, Recovery

A dad told Jeff and me, Our son is not yet sober, but my wife and I have found peace after hearing your story. We know that we can’t control our son’s behavior, but we now know we’re not alone. And more importantly, you’ve shown us there’s hope.

My response: We are powerless against the addiction, but we are not powerless to help ourselves. The Serenity Prayer gives us a guide, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Today’s Promise to consider: Today, I’ll consider the continuation of the Serenity Prayer: To live one day at a time, enjoy one moment at a time and accept hardships as the pathway to peace. I will ‘let go, let God.’ This will be my personal victory.

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Oct 4, 2012

VICTORY: ONE DAY AT A TIME, PART 2

by libbycataldi under Forgiveness, Hope, Jeff, Recovery

A mom wrote to me: So often with addiction we want to wipe the slate clean and start over which, of course, is not possible. Here is a quote I came across and thought you would find it interesting: Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. I like the sound of this! I always found it depressing that a new start didn’t solve the problem so the idea of a brand new ending is comforting to me.

My response: Jeff once wrote, “Addiction has changed my life, made me a different person, and in many respects my life is richer because I was forced to confront myself, or die. My past is my past and I can’t turn it around or change the footsteps that follow me.” He learned that he couldn’t wipe the slate clean, but he could create a brand new ending. And he did.

Today’s Promise to consider: Our histories are ours, and they provide valuable opportunities from which we can learn. Every day offers another start, a fresh chapter or a new page in our life. The challenge isn’t about not getting knocked down, but is learning how to get back up again.

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Sep 20, 2012

CELEBRATING FIRSTS

by libbycataldi under family, Hope, Jeremy

To Iysa, my granddaughter: I can’t help smiling every time I look at this photo of you. You are two-years old and growing up so quickly, proud of your achievement – your first. These firsts make life magical, those moments of discovery and victory. I treasure these for you, and I wish you many more. I also know that as you travel through life, you’ll suffer setbacks and heartaches (for this is what it is to be human), but for today we celebrate your wondrous milestone and say, “Brava, Iysa! Good for you.” Love you, my dearest little angel.

Today’s Promise to consider: Life can be difficult and at times it can be tragic, but for today I’ll remember my child’s firsts, her achievements, and I’ll celebrate. These moments of beauty might carry me through the hardships. Today, I will live in a space of gratitude.

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Aug 23, 2012

VOICES OF RECOVERY, PART 2

by libbycataldi under Forgiveness, Hope, Recovery

A mother wrote to me: I’m involved with Comunità Cenacolo in Jacksonville, Florida, a community dedicated to helping young women find their way out of addiction’s grasp and into the light of sobriety.

Here is a photo I took of the girls’ feet before they performed at the Feast of Saint Maria Goretti. I love this picture…ballet slippers representing white for innocence and a clean life. The feet tell the story, and the worn-out shoes depict the path and suffering it took to get to this dance of redemption.

My thoughts: When Jeff and Jeremy were in school, we bought new shoes every August. After several months, their shoes showed the scuffs and tears of jungle gyms, bus rides, pick-up soccer games, recess and playing in all kinds of weather. Shoes can tell a story about life.

Today’s Promise to consider: The addict wears his own shoes, and I wear mine. I can’t understand fully his walk, and he can’t understand mine. All I can do is to stay close to my loved one and pray that his shoes come home – scuffs and all.

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Jul 26, 2012

CELEBRATING SIX YEARS SOBER

by libbycataldi under Abstinence, Hope, Jeff, Recovery

July 21, 2006: Jeff made the decision not to go back to an addicted life.

In the last chapter of Stay Close, I wrote: Jeremy once asked, “Momma, how will you end the story about Jeff?” I admitted, “I don’t know, Jer. It’s not my story to end.” His answer was clear, “But that’s the point. We don’t know what will happen to Jeff, but no one can ever take away our hope. You have to end the story in hope.” And we will.

Six years ago, Jeff made the decision to live a sober life and our family is deeply grateful. We remain humble, knowing that there is no finish line with the journey that is recovery, but we also know that gratitude and joy are essential parts of being alive. Celebrations are important.

Dear Jeff, We’re grateful you came home to yourself and to us. You had the courage to fight for your life, and your courage continues as you choose again each day. We learn from you. We learn from your strength, resolve, commitment and spirituality. You’ve accomplished much in these six years, and you have many dreams yet to achieve. Happy Anniversary, Jeff!

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Jul 11, 2012

FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS

by libbycataldi under Acceptance, family, Hope, meditation, Stay Close

From left to right: Son Jeff, Aunt Darlene, Uncle/Brother JF, Grandmom/Mom Laura, Nephew Bob, Niece Rebecca, Son Jeremy

My brother wrote this and it touched me. Following is an excerpt: “Hi, Dad. I have another question for you, but you should be honored because you’re the first person I think of to ask any tricky question….”

My daughter. Another in a long line of e-mail questions from my accomplished, 27-year-old daughter, Rebecca, who, despite her youth, has traveled the world. She now works for an organization that occasionally sends her to central Pakistan to work with Muslim female schools (madrasas) to try to show them how many Islamic views are similar to Christian ones, to effect a dialogue. I told her, “Beck, I know you get excited about this, but it’s pretty tough on the Old Man until you get back.” She said, “Dad, don’t you understand? It’s the confidence that you’ve always showed in me that gives me the courage to do all this stuff.”

Confidence…courage…to go into hostile areas…I gave her that? I raised her with two principles: that I loved her completely, and that would never, and could never, change. (Which doesn’t mean that I didn’t discipline her a ton of times growing up. I did. All kids need that. Doesn’t affect the love.) The other principle was that she had to be a good person. She had to do the right thing.

As for me, I don’t much care when I die, (but) I want to have time to say goodbye to my loved ones. I want enough time for Beck to get to me from whatever far-flung outpost she happens to be. I want to tell her I love her one more time. Maybe she’ll ask me a question. After all, I’m her Dad.

(To read the original: http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/opinion/perspectives/first-person-fathers-and-daughters-329029/)

Today’s Promise to consider: Parents and our children: Fathers and daughters, mothers and sons. I love my sons, and that can never and will never change. I know they are good persons and I pray they always do the right thing. After all, I’m their mom.

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