Tara Brach wrote: We can too easily ignore or dismiss people when they are of a different race or religion, when they come from a different socioeconomic class. Assessing them as either superior or inferior, better or worse, important or unimportant, we distance ourselves. As a result, those around us – even family and friends – can become unreal, two-dimensional cardboard figures, not humans with wants and fears and throbbing hearts.

(Tara Brach is an American psychologist and proponent of Buddhist meditation. This passage is paraphrased from her book, Radical Acceptance.)

My reaction: Jeff once told me, “Society loathes addicts and addicts loathe themselves.” It has been my experience that addicts are severely marginalized and minimized. They’re often viewed as part of a ‘throw-away society.’

Today’s Promise to consider: Addicts are often disregarded and considered a menace to society. While this can be true at times, as the mother of a recovering addict, I never quit believing that my son’s humanity was alive underneath the disease. Today, I’ll treat everyone with tolerance and love, recognizing that even though he might feel different from me, she is God’s child with wants and fears and a throbbing heart.

Photo credit: Ando Pndlian

A mom wrote to me, Even without the drug problem in my life, I have to let go of and accept that my son has to go on and have his own life. I have to let him make his own decisions and mistakes, but it’s hard to stay out of his way. I’m right in the heart of learning to “Let go and let God.”  Wanting to control is natural, but I know when I can finally surrender my life that it will take a big weight off my heart and I can begin to live a life of just loving everything and everybody around me.

My reflection: Much of what I learned through addiction can be applied to everyday life. When Jeff was drug sick, I wanted nothing more than to force him to stop. But I learned in Al-Anon, with professional help and through education that controlling an addiction is impossible. “Let go and let God” became my mantra.

Today’s Promise to consider: Today, I admit that I cannot control anyone other than myself. Today, I accept that my loved ones have to live their own lives and make their own mistakes. Standing back is difficult, almost impossible at times, but today I surrender my will and pray for their good decisions. God is in charge, not me.