In 2009, we published Stay Close. Shortly thereafter, we launched a website and blog in order to create a community of support for all those suffering from the consequences of addiction. We started with a team of three dedicated people, who believed that we could make a difference. Jeff and I wrote weekly meditations, and Aamir Syed brought our vision to technological life.

Today, July 21, 2022, we celebrate Jeff’s 16^th anniversary of sobriety. After suffering through a 14-year heroin addiction, he stands as a testament to the hope of recovery. A noble and gentle man, he is a good son, brother, and uncle; a productive businessman; and a loving friend to many.

On this significant day, with gratitude and grace, we’ve decided to close this chapter and stop writing Thursday Meditations. We thank you, our readers, for staying close all these years. You have humbled us with your outpouring of support and compassion, all the while sharing your stories of suffering and hope.

We also thank a team of talented artists, who helped us along the way with visual and technical support. We couldn’t have achieved our goals without Michele Borzoni, Mikele Roselli-Cecconi, Maria and Carolina Usbeck, Davood Madadpoor, George Burroughs and Lauren Giordano.

We thank John Boss, Jeff’s former sponsor, whose faith and wisdom continue to inspire us. Our beloved Dr. Patrick MacAfee has passed on, but not before he was able to help Jeff with compassion and love. He showed me, through his example, how to open my heart and understand the conundrum that is addiction. He taught us that only by taking addiction out of shadows and into the light can it be healed. He will be forever in our hearts, and his teachings will continue to light our way.

Our love to all of you. Stay Close.

Libby, Jeff, and Aamir

Dr. MacAfee told me that the pain of addiction is the agony of being trapped. Using becomes critically important because it answers every problem in a person’s life … until it doesn’t. The use is the solution until it becomes handcuffs. The juxtaposition is baffling, and the addict literally has to fight for his life.

My reflection: I never fully understood the grasp that addiction had on my son. His drug use started as a party, and ended as a prison.

Today’s Promise: During the early years of my son’s fourteen-year addiction, I thought that he could simply turn off his drug use. I told him to stop and expected it to happen. In time and with education, I learned that it would take my son great pain and courage to change his life. Our loved ones are unable to see the impact their sickness has on those who care about them. Today, I’ll offer my loved one compassion.

A mom wrote to me: With addiction, love never dies, but exhaustion can interfere with clarity and decisions. Big picture thinking makes for resilient, compassionate hearts.

My reflection: The words above resonate deeply with me. When my son was in active addiction, exhaustion took a mighty toll on all of us, even him.

Today’s Promise to consider: No matter how much we love someone, exhaustion can take over in the face of hardship. It’s our body’s natural reaction to all the chaos, trauma, problems, money issues, car crashes, fights, physical depletion, and emotional desperation. During my son’s fourteen-year addiction, I finally learned to wait 24 hours to make any important decision. Why? Because most of my immediate decisions were hasty and reactive. Today, let us care for our own needs first. Let us strengthen our inner resources before we respond.

Mary Oliver wrote: 

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.             

My reflection: When my son was in active addiction, I suffocated in my aloneness. I trusted very few people, felt humiliated by all that was happening in our family’s chaotic life, and looked at other supposedly happy families with envy. Living in addiction’s grasp was the most isolated time of my life.

Today’s Promise to consider: When our families are battling addiction, we feel alone, desperate, and isolated. Poet Mary Oliver offers us an expansive idea of where we can find peace. If comfort doesn’t exist in another person or group, we can access nature’s bounty – both our physical environment and our spiritual selves. Today, let us open our spirits, walk in the woods, breathe sea air, feel the rhythm of the seasons, and find abundance in life, and in our own souls. We can feel lonely in a crowd, but we can feel whole in the natural world that surrounds us.