Faith Archives - Page 8 of 11

Nov 20, 2014

SOMEBODY’S PRAYING

by libbycataldi under Faith, family, Jeff, Recovery

Jeff with Grandma Cataldi, our prayer warrior.

A mother wrote to me: I wonder how many prayers we have lifted up as parents of addicted children? And how many prayers others have lifted up on our behalf in an effort to do something, anything to support our both tender and strong parent hearts. How many prayers are lifted up, especially during those times when there is no clear answer to, “What do I do?”

A song: Below are two stanzas of a song written by John Elliot. The lyrics serve to remind us how much comfort and strength comes to us through those who never hesitate to ‘pray us along.’

Somebody’s prayin, I can feel it

Somebody’s prayin’ for me

Mighty hands are guiding me

To protect me from what I can’t see

Lord, I believe, Lord, I believe

Somebody’s prayin’ for me.

Well, I’ve walked through barren wilderness

Where my pillow was a stone

And I’ve been through the darkest caverns

Where no light had ever shown.

Still I went on ’cause there was someone

Who was down on their knees

And Lord, I thank you for those people

Prayin’ all this time for me.

Today’s Promise to consider: Whether I believe in the power of prayer or not, today I will send forth into the universe positive thoughts and energy for my loved one and all those who are suffering. I will bombard the heavens with requests for love and strength.

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Oct 30, 2014

LESSONS FROM RECOVERY: PART 4

by libbycataldi under Abstinence, Faith, family, Hope, Recovery

Jeff and Granddad Cataldi

“KEEPING MY FEET IN TODAY”

I asked a young man, who has been sober for almost three years, what he’s learned from recovery. He wrote:

Change is constant.

What’s that about?

Life is in motion. And

It’s happening now.

Life in Recovery? (life as a healthy human)

Draw on the past

Hope for the future

With my feet in today

My reflection: When Jeff became sober, he faced a myriad of problems caused by his years of using: financial, health, legal and personal. He had to take one day at a time, live in the present and trust that with persistence, sobriety and faith, he would piece his life back together.

Today’s Promise to consider: Keeping both feet in today is a challenge. Our busy minds swing between replaying the past and fast forwarding into the future and, in doing so, we find ourselves living in a world of regrets and projections. Today, I’ll do my best to be present and to appreciate the magic in everyday moments.

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Sep 25, 2014

TOLERANCE

by libbycataldi under Acceptance, Communication, Faith

Tara Brach wrote: We can too easily ignore or dismiss people when they are of a different race or religion, when they come from a different socioeconomic class. Assessing them as either superior or inferior, better or worse, important or unimportant, we distance ourselves. As a result, those around us – even family and friends – can become unreal, two-dimensional cardboard figures, not humans with wants and fears and throbbing hearts.

(Tara Brach is an American psychologist and proponent of Buddhist meditation. This passage is paraphrased from her book, Radical Acceptance.)

My reaction: Jeff once told me, “Society loathes addicts and addicts loathe themselves.” It has been my experience that addicts are severely marginalized and minimized. They’re often viewed as part of a ‘throw-away society.’

Today’s Promise to consider: Addicts are often disregarded and considered a menace to society. While this can be true at times, as the mother of a recovering addict, I never quit believing that my son’s humanity was alive underneath the disease. Today, I’ll treat everyone with tolerance and love, recognizing that even though he might feel different from me, she is God’s child with wants and fears and a throbbing heart.

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Sep 4, 2014

NO BLAME

by libbycataldi under Acceptance, Faith, family, Hope, Jeff, meditation

Jeff and niece Iysa

A mother wrote to me: My son was a star athlete in high school and at age seventeen began his downward spiral into this insidious disease. I taught in the school district that he attended so it was doubly hard getting calls just about every day from the RN to take him for a drug test. He fell asleep in class or didn’t even show up for school. I blamed myself – his dad and I had separated before this nightmare began so I assumed he took drugs to medicate himself or to use as a band-aid.

My reaction: We parents often blame ourselves for our child’s addiction. When our child is broken and ill, we would rather point to anyone, even ourselves, before we blame our addicted loved one. We feel powerless and assigning fault comes easily in moments of crisis.

Today’s Promise:Many experts say that addiction is an illness. Who is to blame for this illness? I will blame no one. Our family is affected by addiction. I will accept it, find strength in God and my recovering community, and go forward.

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Aug 21, 2014

FINDING COMFORT IN DISCOMFORT

by libbycataldi under Faith, meditation

A mom sent me this quote by Pema Chödrön: We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

My reflection: Life’s problems can throw us into a state of confusion and despair. When Jeff was in active addiction, things came together for a moment and I felt such hope, only to be followed by things falling apart again, and worse. Even now, with Jeff healthy and drug free, there are many painful moments in life.

Today’s Promise to consider: Life is about us maintaining personal peace in the face of its constant challenges and finding comfort in the uncomfortable feelings. Instead of running from the pain, today I’ll work to be like the ocean – deep and stable, anchored in God – and not like the waves above me, tossing about, sometimes jarring, sometimes quiet.

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Aug 14, 2014

NEW CAMALDOLI HERMITAGE: SILENCE AS GIFT

by libbycataldi under Faith, family, meditation, Recovery

Jeff and I attended a silent retreat this past weekend at New Camaldoli Hermitage, a monastery in Big Sur, where we lived three days in silence and contemplation. Without cell phone service or Internet I thought I wouldn’t survive, but what I discovered is that by disconnecting from the daily drumbeat of life I allowed myself the space to connect with the sounds of my head and heart. Mother Teresa says that God speaks to us in the silence of our soul.

My reflection: My head is constantly filled with the noise of daily life, whooshing and whizzing through my brain. This is especially true during crises, like when Jeff was sick and addiction had him by the throat. Even in times of stability and health, my mind is a whirlwind. What I learned this weekend is that through silence, I was forced to look inward, where it can be scary and unsettling, to face myself and touch the breath of God within.

Today’s Promise to consider: Today, I will take a moment to be completely still, to quiet my mind and spend some time in solitude. I will make an opening in my spirit to experience God’s closeness – a closeness that our busy, modern lives so quickly obscure.

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Aug 7, 2014

LIVING IN THE PRESENT

by libbycataldi under Faith, Gratitude, meditation, Stay Close

A mom sent me a quote: When the Dalai Lama was asked what surprised him most about humanity, he answered, Man. He is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.

My reflection: Living in the present moment sounds easy, but I find it hard to do. The human mind is a whirlwind, twisting among problems, goals and projections. When Jeff was in active addiction, I spent most of my days with one foot in the past, second-guessing what I should have done differently, or in the future, worrying about what I would do when some catastrophe occurred.

Today’s Promise to consider: Today, I will work hard to live in the present. When my mind drifts into the past or the future, I will gently bring it back to the moment. I’ll harness my monkey mind and live today, for today, knowing the past is over and trusting that God will take care of the future.

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Jul 24, 2014

SLOGANS AND TOUGH TIMES

by libbycataldi under Faith, family, Hope

A mom wrote to me, I know all the slogans of Al-Anon: Easy Does It, One Day at a Time, Keep it Simple, First Things First. These and more are seared into my soul, but they are still hard to put into practice when things get tough.

My reflection: Let Go and Let God continues to be my go-to slogan. When Jeff was in active addiction, I repeated these words like a mantra. I knew I had no control over the addiction, and this slogan helped to keep me focused on getting out of God’s way. Even today, when things go wrong (as life is want to do), this slogan is my mainstay.

Today’s Promise to consider: Having a saying to help us through difficult times is a point of reference, helping to ground us. For years, I have called particular slogans to mind to support me through times of trouble. When I’m feeling confused and lost, my favorite is: Let Go and Let God.

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Jul 17, 2014

MINDFUL SPEECH

by libbycataldi under Communication, Dialogue, Faith, family, Forgiveness, Hope

A dad wrote, I have a sign in my office that says, “I wish my mouth had a pause button.” That sign has been hanging there for years, yet I never applied it to understanding how to ‘pause’ and listen to God. Without that understanding how could I ever hope to, “Let go, Let God?”

My reflection, There are many times I, too, wish my mouth had a pause button. How often do we respond hurriedly and then have regrets? The visual comes to mind of a cartoon figure with the bubble from his mouth where the words are written. I’ve often wished I could erase the words in the bubble or reel them back in.

Today’s Promise to consider: Today, I’ll be more mindful of my words. Before I respond to someone or weigh in with my opinion, I’ll take time to reflect and reply with compassion. I will pause and listen to my inner counsel, trusting to hear God’s wisdom.

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Jun 12, 2014

HONORING LIFE IN THE FACE OF DEATH

by libbycataldi under Dr. Patrick MacAfee, Faith, family

Old Man in Sorrow (On the Threshold of Eternity) Vincent Van Gogh, 1890

A mom, who lost her son to addiction, wrote to me, Nothing will ever fill the hole in my heart, but I know there was nothing more I could have done for my son. Today, I honor the grief by acknowledging it and not hiding it. I can’t carry guilt like a cross. I know that today my beloved son is at peace and free of pain. An acupuncturist once told me our bodies remember stress and trauma and, as beautiful as childbirth is, my body obviously remembers bringing my beautiful boy into this world and also remembers the trauma of finding him after he left this world. I honor his life everyday.

My reflection: This mom wrote the above message to me following Dr. MacAfee’s entry about The Terror of Addiction. Her words inspire me as she acknowledges the pain and has the courage to speak out. My love and gratitude to all the parents who extend a hand to help others who suffer the greatest loss of all.

Today’s Promise to consider: When my heart is most broken, I want to go under and hide, but today I will open my arms to my pain and accept that God is shaping the stone of my spirit. I’ll allow myself to be transformed into the grateful dancer God wants me to be.

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